Lights! Camera! Action!
Part 6 of Living In A Hut
(Enjoy! Sorry about the delay in writing this next part of the story but I had a glorious time last week at a Writer’s Conference at Bethel Church in Redding CA which kept me quite busy. I had to spend a few days downloading some revelation and now I am back with the tale of a woman whom I know and love very much – ME!)
Even before she reached the entrance to the Palace, she could almost feel within her the rhythm of its beat and the flow of its movement around her. In the distance, she heard glorious worship music. She could discern the sound of voices that seemed to be in one accord with joy and gladness. Excitement was in the air! It was all around her. She felt caught up in the presence of it all.
There was a glory in the physical appearance of the Palace that was illuminated with light and brilliance. Somehow, its grandeur managed to pull you into its sphere of influence even as you walked towards it one step at a time. With each step, excitement within her grew in great measure. At least for one mundane day in the life of this woman, she could be in the presence of possibility among those who seemed to be in the flow and in the know. She sighed and smiled. This is what she had been waiting for all along. To be part of something or someone or some place that was moving somewhere. Anywhere was better to her at this point that being nowhere.
As she walked forward, thoughts flooded her mind. Step by step she walked. Moment by moment, she edged forward. She walked alongside others caught up in the same flow of excitement and intensity. In being drawn to the palace, she suddenly felt a certain tension within her growing with each step.
“What is this feeling?” she asked, quite surprised.
“All those years of a wilderness journey in my life. Wouldn’t it have been easier, God, to just have pulled me out of the wilderness years ago and put me in the flow of the Palace momentum? Why did I go through all the hard times, the dead end paths, the hopeless days? Why? It all seems to be for nothing as far as I can see.”
Suddenly, in that moment, the woman could not reconcile her past with her present. Why did she have to go through all she went through? Wouldn’t it have been easier years ago just to join in with an existing flow and be one of the storm chasers, fire starters, revival initiators or glory getters? To join in would have been less effort than to swim upstream for all these years chasing a dream that never seemed to materialize.
“What’s been the point?” she pondered.
She always believed that what she went through would bring her out into a creative purpose and destiny that was uniquely and finely crafted for her own life. Yet in reality, here she was, just part of the group going to the Palace. Somehow with each step, the glory of the Palace seemed to be an admission of failure in her life. She could not succeed in her own dreams, so why not be cloned into another’s dreams?
She realized that after all these years, she had developed a disdain for anything cloned or seemingly robotic. And yet, here she was, walking towards the Palace with everyone else. She was actually going to a Palace gathering. The very thing she had been fighting against for all those years was now a reality. The questions within her now had an edge to them of envy and sarcasm.
“Why do they get all the good stuff? Why do they seem to have all the favor? Doesn’t seem fair to me, God.’
The path from the hut to the Palace was only several hundred feet. Yet this journey on this particular day seemed to her to be a path filled with a variety of emotions that stirred within her in just a short distance. Joy. Gladness. Anger. Disappointment. Failure. Fear. Her steps, which started out with joy and gladness, suddenly seemed heavy. Hope vanished within her and she could not figure out exactly why she felt this way. Wasn’t this what she wanted? It was as if, in going to the Palace gathering, she had to concede within herself that her dreams and aspirations would only get swallowed up in a Palace mentality, a Palace culture, and a Palace identity.
It appeared to her that the Palace people had it all. No one in all these years had let her forget that. The pressure to be drawn into its mystery never seemed to release her from its grasp as people over the years continually talked about the Palace mystique. And again, as she looked around it was too late to turn back. Why? What were the choices? Back to the mundane hut where she knew nothing was going on or onward to what seemed to offer some hope to her boring life. With a bit of hesitancy she continued to walk forward to the open doors of the Palace.