The woman walked back to the hut from the Palace, each step filled with both anticipation and apprehension. Anticipation opened her eyes to see that her life mattered to God, that her life would be abundant and free. At the same time, apprehension created a tension within her interjecting doubt into her life. Perhaps all she had encountered was just a façade and nothing would change. God’s words of love and life swirled around her as she walked. She saw them before her, but did not actually grasp them fully. She believed God while still struggling inside with fear that it would all disappear as fast as it came. “Is this real?” she thought. “Why now? Can I believe this?”
As she walked, she continued to whisper to herself, “He’s been listening to me. All along, He’s been there. So what’s this tension in me? Why can’t I just believe it and let all the rest go?”
Even with His revelation close at hand, her mind was a whirlwind of things that had occurred in the past. Despite her encounter with God, she could not put the past to rest. There were still questions within her. “Why did I have to go through all this? Why did He wait so long?”
She remembered times of intense weeping before God, truly believing that He had forgotten about her. There were times when her cries only seemed to be lost in an eternal void of nothingness, times when she did not know He was there at all. She shuddered inside at the thought of her life and how it had been. She did not want to go back to that place ever again. Again she questioned “Why this tension within me? Peace alongside doubt. Love alongside fear?” This puzzled her a bit but she kept on walking.
She was totally unaware that there was one more question that she would have to face that day before she reached the hut. Hiding in the shadows was another being, waiting to speak words of fear. He would ask one more question to her. Unwilling to let her go, he wanted to take one last shot with a question that he had used throughout all of time to paralyze those who belonged to God. This question was the question that he used to format a person’s mind and heart to keep them focused on their fears, their unbelief and their doubt. He masterfully used this question anytime the woman would grieve in the midst of her painful circumstances, thinking that God Himself had abandoned her, leaving her with a hopelessness that consumed her.
Genesis 3:1 NKJV Now the serpent was more cunning than any beast of the field, which the Lord God had made. And he said to the woman, “Has God indeed said…..
This is a question that is subtly spoken, forming us and fashioning us in fear in time. The woman did not know it but everything in her life had brought her to this point. She would now confront this question head on. This question would bring confrontation in the midst of her weakness. She would look at her life and see quite clearly that unless God intervened, she had nothing.
“Has God indeed said?” She was jolted into fear by this question. The words saturated the atmosphere all around her. “Has God indeed said?”
“Where’s that coming from?” she thought. In hearing that question, her thoughts were diverted away from truth back into the lies that questioned God’s faithfulness. This question challenged the very character of God. The woman began to agree with the lie. Fear gripped her quickly. It had really not been conquered but only challenged this day. Now it had exposed its plan and purpose. She spoke in frustration, “What if this is all a lie? What if I believe all of these words and then nothing? Nothing! Nothing! Nothing at all happening – again. I’ll be worse off than I was before. I can’t go there again. I won’t go there again.”
She began to walk fast in response to the unsettling fear within her. Peace suddenly dissipated and vanished right around her.
“How can things change so suddenly, in a moment of time?” she questioned.
Then the unthinkable happened. In fear, she began to agree with the question, speaking it out loud adding her own doubts. All the while in the shadows the creature laughed thinking to himself “She’s an easy one. I didn’t think it would be this easy. And right after that encounter. This is too good!”
“Has God said that my life is valuable? Where was He all those years?”
“Has He said that He never leaves me or forsakes me? What a joke! How can I forget those times of feeling so alone and forgotten?”
Breathless and fearful, she spoke again agreeing with the lie.
“Has God said that peace is my reality? How do I believe that?”
“Has He said that life is abundant? This is life? These years of being forgotten, humiliated and shamed as others taunted me with their favor.”
“Is He faithful?”
Suddenly her words collided with her fear and the desperation of her heart was there, right before her eyes. “I can’t go back there. I won’t go back there. I can’t,” she cried.
God watched her. The creature lurking in the shadows watched her. This stronghold in her life of believing lies over Truth had drawn her into a life of desolation for many years. Today was the turning point. Pain is inevitable before a breakthrough.
“What if this is all a lie? What if nothing changes?” the woman said with passion. “How can I live like that again? I am dead inside. There’s nothing left in me. This is not living. This is not life. Please…” She begged with all of her might. “Help me.”
She was empty. She could barely breathe. “I can’t fight anymore. I’m so tired Lord. Whatever………….whatever you want, I give you my life. If nothing changes, I want your peace. I need your peace. If my life is lived forever in that miserable hut, I want You. I trust You. You know me through and through and yet somehow, I never really believed that. I trust you Lord, with everything.”
Trust – this was the stronghold. Those words exploded into the atmosphere, challenging the darkness and seeing it dissipate and vanish. The creature disappeared. The lies were dismantled. His question lost all control in her life that day by these simple words spoken by the woman. “I trust You.” It was so simple and had been there all along but she never realized it. It was all a matter of trust.