As God healed my heart, He gave me eyes to see and ears to hear with discernment. Discernment – to separate thoroughly; to make a distinction. Discernment reveals to you the secrets of God’s heart for the purpose of intercession. God trusts us to carry His heart into every situation with discernment to see through a lens of truth.
Coming out of the formatted templated church did not necessarily mean I came into the reality of what that really meant for our lives. I continued to attend conferences trying to ‘get something’. I went looking in many different churches for anything that would point the way into our new direction. I did not truly realize at the time that the Way would point the way for us. So I continued to search but did not find anything that satisfied the longing of my heart for God.
In the process of searching, I noticed that my discernment became quite sharp. In going into conferences or churches, I would see something that indicated one thing but knew by the Spirit; something else was going on beneath the surface. I would hear something that indicated one thing but knew by the Spirit that there was another sound beneath the surface. I got angry and yes, I did judge but I thank God that He healed my heart to speak truth now. I will give one clear example, as it is part of my testimony.
At the height of its glory, I went to Lakeland with a friend. It was THE new ‘cutting edge’ revival well and everyone was going. It grew so fast and so strong that people actually believed it was going to usher in worldwide revival. I heard that spoken by many prophets of the charismatic movement.
Just a few days before we actually went to Lakeland, we attended a woman’s retreat where Todd Bentley’s wife was speaking. It was at that conference that I saw something by the Spirit that I totally negated in my mind when I first saw it. In one moment during that conference, I looked at her on the podium and I suddenly saw her face and time stood still. In that moment, I knew that there were marital problems, deep anger within her, and deception going on under the surface. The Spirit simply told me this. I continued to look and I felt an overall feeling of unsettledness. Wasn’t her husband the main headliner in Lakeland? I discounted my discernment for I did not want to judge and I did not trust my discernment at that time.
When we arrived in Lakeland a few days later, we did all the ritual charismatic stuff – waited in line for hours and running quickly when the doors opened for a prime seat. When the service actually started, that same sinking feeling came over me. Yet, looking around I discounted it again for I truly felt I was wrong in what I was feeling. After all, why would all these people be here? And, why would major prophetic heavy-hitters endorse Todd Bentley when behind the scenes there was marital infidelity going on at the same time he was ministering to thousands on stage? But now I know. And now I see that I did see accurately.
At first it got me angry and total disillusionment with charismania began to form in my life. I did not want to judge, but I was upset. You can see on YouTube, if it is still there, that one night, many iconic charismatic leaders stood on that podium with Todd and commissioned him and endorsed his ministry. They actually prophesied that Lakeland would go out into the entire world and he would be a major catalyst of change. Then all hell broke loose shortly thereafter and exposure came. Need I say more? It is not what it seems at times. Where is discernment and wisdom in the Body of Christ? Where is Jesus?
This is just one example of many that I have encountered. Over the years, I have seen over and over that the norm in the church at large is either to disregard any spontaneity of the Spirit in favor of form and man-made structure. Or, the church will may accept everything and shake, quake, get new mantles, new impartations, and run all around the world for something given to us by someone at some place in some time. How ridiculous this is to me right now in my life. Where is discernment? It is sorely lacking.
Now back again to my definition of discernment – to separate thoroughly or to make a distinction regarding some thing. What is my discernment speaking to me now? Well, first I want to say it is not speaking to judge in any way. Jesus Christ is my wisdom and Holy Spirit gives me discernment. He is speaking simply and clearly. Christ in me, the hope of glory. Christ in you, the hope of glory. Why run seeking revival? That denies the reality of His life in you right where you to walk in power and authority. Why seek out iconic leaders and their templates and format their revelation into your life? Why not believe He is in you and will flow through you?
I am totally disillusioned with the form of church at large but I am totally in awe of Jesus Christ flowing through His church the way He wants to do it, through hearts submitted and surrendered to His will and His ways. His church is a mess, devoid of the presence and the power. He sees this. He knows this. Yet, He loves us with an everlasting love and He will form His Body into what He has destined and ordained her to be.