Thanks to everyone who so graciously affirmed me in writing these posts. It is a journey that I have been on for some time now. I have not spoken much about it simply because in the midst of these attacks by control and manipulating people over the years, I was also dealing with rejection, misunderstanding and persecution at the same time coming at me from leaders who did not understand, believed the lies, or presumed to know me when they really did not know me at all. Isn’t that how it usually is for many of you too? Being a strong woman in the Body of Christ comes with its share of labels, Jezebel being one of them.
When control and manipulation manifest through individuals in a Jezebel type way, these individuals can have many different accompanying characteristics to get their way. You will see excess flattery coming forth from them, continual self-focus on their ministry or their giftings, and even sickness to draw attention to themselves. The sad thing is that I have seen this over and over in many different ways and in different places and for the most part, I have also seen that leaders do nothing about it at all. In fact, it is as if they don’t know what to do many times or don’t see it. When you address it as a woman of God, it usually backfires on you. It then becomes you who are critical, judgmental or angry. Has anyone ever experienced that?
Let’s talk about another woman. I will call her Marie. When she was ministering alongside us in a particular situation, it was constant interference, intense pride along with lots of fleshly manifestations to appear hyper-spiritual. She came on the scene and we were never told that she would also minister during this time that we were there. See how they work their way into situations unseen and do damage? If we had known, we would never have gone into this situation but suddenly, there she was and intense drama began for the whole week.
Here are some sound bytes. She feigned an illness around people but when I tried to pray for her one day, she pushed me out and did not want to be alone with me. Why? Because I had her figured out and she could not pull the wool over my eyes. She paraded past me and went into the room where everyone was sitting and began to exaggerate her symptoms by sitting down, pretending she was so weak, etc. She continued this charade for the whole week and loved the attention.
She was given instructions for ministry but usually did what she wanted every time. We were told to follow her, giving us more time and that meant picking up the mess she left behind in the anointing by taking people’s focus off the simplicity of Christ Jesus. Here’s something else that I had to learn. This spirit has no originality so be prepared for them to mimic and copy to gain attention. If we were led to prophetically sing, she got up and asked if she could sing a song. Don’t laugh, it’s true. If we said something revelatory during the prayer meetings, she would tack it on to her message.
It seems that in cases like these, you are darned if you do, and darned if you don’t. If you confront, you generally get backlash. If you don’t confront, you can sense how much it grieves the Spirit of God. The main thing is the lack of authority in many of the leaders we saw who refused to confront this in any way due to a fear of man.
The showdown came at some of the last meetings. When you are a visiting minister, you are submitted to the leader in charge. If they refuse to do anything, chaos results. That is what finally happened the last few days. She disregarded all instruction and God just let her go, to show the leaders just what could and did happen. She was given 15 minutes but just kept talking and talking and would not stop. The leaders did not stop her. Then she proceeded to take it one step further and gave numerous altar calls while time marched forward. The leaders felt uncomfortable but would not stop it. In fact, one guy actually thought it was the Spirit of God despite the atmosphere charged with confusion and chaos. Finally, we confronted it by speaking to the leaders to sit her down, which they did. What to do now? The people were confused and the spiritual atmosphere was like death. We did the best we could by praying and worshipping but we never seemed to regroup.
Now here is my gut level honesty. Hold onto your hats. At one point in the meeting, she kept trying to control so I went to her and boldly and strong spoke into her ear to stop, rebuking her. Well, she did stop BUT in the car on the way home, she began to rant and rave and…here it comes……….she called me a Jezebel. Bam………..there it is again. When she did that, both Marvin and I, simultaneously turned to her, got in her face, and loudly and forcefully said, “Be quiet.” For the next three days, she took breakfast and lunch at times in her room. They served her by bringing food up to her. The end result was that she regrouped and we left with some leaders believing I was just an angry woman who liked to also control. They relegated it down to the fact that it was just between us girls so I should just play nice and keep the peace. In telling just bits and pieces of these stories, I am feeling so free. Remember, shame over what you did not even do, keeps you silent.