Words stirring in my spirit. Words of life. Words of confrontation. Words of revelation spoken to me over and over again in the past few days.
Looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. (Hebrews 12:2 NKJV)
Questions rise up in me, provoked by these simple words above. What kind of focus is this? What kind of joy is seen here? Who willingly walks forward into pain and suffering unless He is seeing something much greater as His reality?
I call myself a woman of focus. Yet, reality shows me that my peripheral vision, my eyes wandering into distractions and diversions around me, cause me to stop in mid-stride. At times, I get stuck in doubt, loss of hope and even self-pity.
How do I do it? How do I flow like Jesus, who for the joy set before Him, endured the cross with its pain, shame, and suffering? Sometimes I am paralyzed in my ‘present’. I don’t want any more dead ends in my life, so I simply stand still at times. I also don’t like pain. I have had enough of it. Haven’t you? What is this key, Lord that you are trying to show me? I am definitely over thinking this, looking for a complex solution in the midst of what appears to be a simple revelation.
My years in Pentecostalism or Charismaticism (new word) have taught me to do something, anything for a situation to change. To move forward when not seeing results, pray more. Cry out to God on my knees more. Worship more. Read the Bible more. But, what happens when you do all that and nothing happens? Has God failed me? Absolutely not. So what do I do? What must I learn in this?
Suddenly a voice of simplicity rises up within me. I hear one word, “Abide.”
“Live in me. Make your home in me just as I do in you. In the same way that a branch can’t bear grapes by itself but only by being joined to the vine, you can’t bear fruit unless you are joined with me. “I am the Vine, you are the branches. When you’re joined with me and I with you, the relation intimate and organic, the harvest is sure to be abundant. Separated, you can’t produce a thing (John 15:4-5 Message)
Is it that simple? And what exactly does ‘abide’ mean for me? How do I abide? Do I read the Bible every day? Do I pray an hour when I first get up? There I am again, looking for the concrete in the midst of the revelational. Hahaha! I am laughing at myself right now.
Abiding. Can you assure me that it will work? What makes me want something more definitive and structured so that I can see results and measure life on some self-imposed graph of success? Again, I am laughing out loud. LOL. See, I am. Really.
How must I abide to enjoy this journey called life? How must I abide to walk in peace even in the midst of the storm? How should I abide when life comes with fears and struggles and trials when you least expect it?
The voice of simplicity again rises up within me, not a voice of compulsion or declaration but a voice of stillness and serenity. Holy Spirit says to me “Abide”.
I have preached this as concept. I have ministered this prophetically, preaching it out and declaring it. But, can I now say that I am walking it? I admit not even knowing what I was preaching in times past. I am now abiding day by day. There is joy in trust, in relationship with Jesus, peace and intense love – I abide in this reality. And when this reality is forced to hide behind days filled with insecurity and rejection I run back to that revelation of abiding, Christ in me. He walks with me each moment of my life, never leaving or forsaking me. I am going back to the basics everyone. More in the days ahead on this journey. Perhaps it is best that I stir up more questions in you than answers right now. That is what the prophetic does best. Leading you into questions so that you draw close into Christ and not my words. I point the way to Jesus. That’s all for today.