To walk in prophetic momentum in clarity of sound and a purity of heart, I need to be free from words of shame that formed my life. To speak words of truth, the source of life in me should be free from anything that is damming up the river from flowing outward. My identity in Christ is trying to flow forth from my inner substance, yet it is often blocked by my own sense of inner shame.
Shame imprisoned me behind a wall of insecurity and doubt, believing that somehow or someway, I was just not right. Guilt motivated my actions, proceeding from shame, trying to either people please OR just being downright angry with people for my perceived miserable life. Being up and down, like riding a roller coaster, my life was hardly one of resting in Christ. I sense that the prophetic in me flowed with clarity and function up till this time BUT to go further in this realm, death occurs in me so that resurrection life flows from me. That is a good thing that should not be avoided. Life is a journey. We advance going from faith to faith, glory to glory.
In times past, I often felt one of two ways. First, I would step out as bold as a lion in prophetic declarations and then second guess myself and wallow in fear and insecurity. Or, I would step out for the Lord, saying what I feel needed to be said, and because I was rejected or ignored, I would get angry. Both are only the overflow of inner wounding that desperately needed to be healed. The problem was in me and needed healing. God is determined to take prophetic people higher, if I can say it like that. To do that, He must aim for getting the cracks out of a faulty foundation of belief. With me, it was so simple. God was getting to that part in me that said I was wrong, not my actions but me. I was wrong, made wrong, formed wrong, just plain wrong. That is shame in its perfection.
When, as a woman, I tried to step out, knowing I heard from the Lord, shame often slammed me down, helping me to feel unworthy, unnoticed, or ignored. Often people’s words of condescension ripped apart my foundation, making me feel less than and far beneath them.
On the other side again, I have ‘pushed and ‘proved’ quite often in my life, despite these feelings inside, trying to qualify and justify just being me or speaking what I believe is from the Lord. Shame can keep you silenced or angry if you allow it to permeate your life, which I did at times.
Shame is the attack on your substance, who you are. No one can touch that place. That place is the inner sanctum where your spirit is alive in Christ. But, if you don’t see that place as the ultimate place of identity, you can be motivated by shame that either silences you or angers you. Am I laying this down understandably?
Shame entered my life through hard-hitting words, causing pain or anger. Shame also came through blatant rejection. In my head, I knew God loved me lavishly and passionately but the road from the head to the heart is often filled with pain as God heals those wounds that form our life. And, this is a journey in life as He heals and restores us day by day.
God spoke these words to me about one month ago.
“Debra, February will be a turning point for you.”
By the Spirit I can sense that what I am going through is leading me into ‘me’. The ‘me’ that He created, not the one formed in shame or guilt. Debra. It’s a journey and I am getting ready to go through a door into a new broad place.
The purity of the prophetic is moving in the testimony of Jesus. This is the spirit of prophecy. He wants a heart that is focused, willing, obedient and humble. The prophetic voice, flowing forth from me or you, should flow with intensity in the reality of His love as its source. Yet, His love, as I have said before, comes forth in many ways. It’s all in relationship.
To be continued……
In Christ, Debra
Please pray and consider having Rivers of Eden minister in your gathering, home group, conference or church in 2014. This is our year of release wherever and whenever God opens His doors bringing His grace and His glory through us to those to whom we are called in this season. Feel Free to contact us on Facebook, Twitter, or on our Contact Page on our website.
Some Great Posts To Read