I really enjoyed writing my last post on Invisible Women. Don’t you know that when we write with authenticity, we write from the depths of our heart, without pretense. Without trying to be anyone other than ourselves, we write with clarity and hope.
I can try to force myself into situations to be seen, and yet, still not be seen. I can talk and talk and talk and yet still not be heard. The problem is not ‘out there’ but ‘in here’. In me lies the problem and the solution. That is very good indeed. When I always put myself at the mercy of people’s opinions who are ‘out there’, I lose my focus and can get bogged down in the muck and mire of life, losing my way. I am then subject to a permeating lie.
This lie spoke to me consistently in times past. It said that people will hinder my destiny in Christ through their opinions about me. It said that others, by their actions, can prevent me from walking in the fullness of my identity. This lie consistently reminded me that I lived in the now, constantly carrying baggage from my past, hindering me from walking in the fullness that awaited me in the future. What a lie! I came out from under that lie and I can breathe again.
I faded into nothingness over these past few years. I fought to be seen. Perhaps people saw my own deep insecurities and hopelessness and perhaps they did not. I saw it. I knew it. But, I was fearful of missing out, being disqualified in Christ. What a horrible feeling it was.
How often I would cry out to God that it would be better to strip me of any call, or destiny or purpose in Christ than to walk in the reality of always waiting or losing hope. It got that bad and the pain was deep. But, I don’t feel that way today. Supernaturally touched by God healed a season of deep disillusionment and fear. When God touches a heart, He can heal in a moment what one would think would take years of therapy.
My life is built in rest, moving in rest and trusting in Christ. How often I preached it but deep inside I did not always see it or believe it. Hope deferred in my life hindered my faith. I simply did not hope so I could not see my future. I saw only the grim reality of my present which seemed like I was going nowhere. When God healed, He touched my life. What does that mean? Well, I guess you can put it this way. Once I was blind, and now I see.
What do I see? Jesus Christ. When I gaze upon His beauty, I reflect and walk in His glory. I am renewed and refreshed again.
This is the year of the release of women. How? There will be many different ways as there are many different types of women. It is best to hold onto its reality as truth and walk where the reality of equality in the Body of Christ is not only talked but walked out in the reality of Christianity. That is why Marvin and I will not go to churches that do not believe in the equality of women. I tried that. I tried to change it. Now, I just go where I cam celebrated and not tolerated. I don’t look back. I am not angry. It opens up a wide field of possibility for my life. How about you?
In Christ, Debra Westbrook
Please pray and consider having Rivers of Eden minister in your gathering, home group, conference or church in 2014. This is our year of release wherever and whenever God opens His doors bringing His grace and His glory through us to those to whom we are called in this season. You can contact us on Facebook or Twitter.
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