My New Normal: Wandering and Waiting

479731_10151387670278930_1741421622_nWhere do I settle to bring forth the reality of the revelation – Christ in me, the hope of glory? I invite you to read the previous blog – There’s No Room At The Inn. I invite you in on this prophetic journey, step by step by step. Oh, in case you don’t know the story of Mary and Joseph, just google Luke, Chapters 1 & 2.

I live, move and have my being in Christ Jesus. At this time, there is this sense of destiny and purpose deep within me to BE at the right place IN the right time. This should not come with pressure since Holy Spirit is able in all ways to lead us in grace and glory. Yet, there are days where I rant, days where I am frustrated, and days where I find inner peace – it’s life. Perfection in my emotional states often elude me since I am a passionate person of outward expression. I know my rest is in Christ alone. But, there are days where I find myself out of sync internally. I then return to the secret place in Christ, breathe and keep on walking, in peace and rest.

“I don’t have to figure it out.” I keep saying to myself each day. “I just have to BE and the flow will move me in the direction I am to go. But, Lord, what about the now? There does not appear to be direction today.”

This is my now – transition, of a good kind. Walking the walk, in sync with my verbal message. A prophetic journey, step by step. I am letting you all in on it, too. A new day dawns with increasing hope and promise. Why? Haha! Time comes with limitations. In our case, our lease is extended to mid-August, giving us a bit more time. So, there is hope that today IS the day. It may prove to be the same old day as yesterday. In any case, the day is coming where we have to pick up and go so I hope in the passing of time.

There is no room at the inn for us – prophetically speaking. It is my new normal and actually has been for some time. It is difficult to find a place to BE right now, a place of acceptance, love and community. A place where there is a gathering, a coming together, one with another for Jesus Christ and Him alone.

(Here’s a bit of an aside. Many times, when I speak about my life in this way, people say “Oh Debra….what about the “one”? There is plenty to do. Just look around. You are over spiritualizing this.” Those spiritual clichés and many more abound and even though there is truth in those statements, they do not apply to me at this time. We (Marvin and I) have always stopped for the ‘one’. This time is different. There is something greater that is coming, that I have waited for and longed for in my life. I press.)

Philippians 3:12 Not that I have already attained, or am already perfected; but I press on, that I may lay hold of that for which Christ Jesus has also laid hold of me.

When we go into different spiritual environments (churches, gatherings), we experience a variety of things – acceptance based upon the prevailing norm, hype, rejection, conformity stressed in subtle ways, works, performance, etc. We can’t seem to find that place to settle where it all just comes together in community for us. I look for a place to birth Rivers of Eden. This involves people of grace, vision, and purpose in Christ alone. In other words, a place to BE me, who Christ is in me. I want that for me and I want that for each of you reading. (Stretching out in total honesty now – risking.)

At this time, we can’t seem to settle, to find other people, outside of the internet, who seem to be going our way. I want the face to face with people, not just online.

Often, going into different places, as we passionately speak of Christ, many seem to disregard what we say or even disdain our grace awakening to His goodness and glory. Many have a set path, following some iconic minister or ministry, speaking the God-talk, preconfigured and templated. There seems to be no room at the inn for what is out of the box, still in process, or not totally aligned with the prevailing vision. This season is hand-tailored by God, for us, for His purpose. So, we wander and we wait.

Today, there is no time for self-pity, discouragement – birthing pangs increase in my life each day. Where to go? My focus – find a place to birth. Birthing spiritually and settling down in the natural, physical realm as to location. They both go hand in hand right now.

Geesh – I pray I am not losing some of you. Follow along by the Spirit – I am trying to speak spiritual thoughts with spiritual language, doing the best I can, without constantly explaining or qualifying my statements.

More coming…..wanting to keep this a bit shorter for each of us to digest a bit at a time. Do you find yourself in any of this? Maybe, maybe not. I know some of you do. I can feel it as I write, or I would not be writing this. In any case, process is good and writing in process is really good.

In Christ
Debra Westbrook

10511315_794327653940721_886065626280149819_nGod breathed Rivers of Eden Ministry into my life many years ago. I have tried to define it with the typical Christianese language. I can’t. All I know is that our heart’s cry is to focus on Christ, the Tree of Life – to show forth His grace and flow in His glory wherever we are sent. Holy Spirit flows through us (Marvin and I), in creative expression, through preaching, teaching, prophetic flow – people are healed and set free. Divine connections are the norm for us. We go where God leads us – wherever and whenever He wants us to go. The reality of Christ in me, the hope of glory, is alive and well. Now, I am ready to move out again. Contact us on Facebook or Twitter. God may want to lead us your way – to your home group, church, gathering.

 

12 thoughts on “My New Normal: Wandering and Waiting

  1. Pingback: My New Normal: Life’s An Art, Not A Science | riversofeden1

  2. Pingback: My New Normal: Looking At The Horizon In The Midst Of The Now | riversofeden1

  3. Debra,

    When I read the previous article, “No room at the Inn,” and now this one, I completely understand where you’re coming from. We are on the same journey. I’ve learned something recently, though. God designs a wilderness specific to the individual. We had been in a dry and spiritually parched place, looking for fellowship, relationship, worship and all the things you mentioned. Then, we found a place I thought was ‘it.’ Even an opportunity for what I thought was another ‘it’ moment, some things seemed to be an answer to prayer. Yet, it wasn’t all I hoped it would be. I rationalized what I could live with because I had been so desperate for finding ‘that place,’ where I hoped everything would come together. What I discovered is that it was a test. It looked like God, but it had compromise attached to it. It wasn’t “THE DREAM” or what I thought I had hoped would be God’s best for us. It was once again trying to fit new wine into an old wineskin, and that just never works. The enemy is glad to offer us what we think we want if only we will serve him in compromise. It was disappointing that once again we did not find what we hoped we would. Yet I knew I could not settle and try to fit back into an old wine skin. I was so uncomfortable I almost ran out the door! The moment I told the Lord it wasn’t the right door for us, all of a sudden there was a flood of revelation and I heard Him say, “Never let anyone quantify you.” Don’t let anyone define you by their own standards or limitations and don’t try to fit where you can’t be yourself.

    Sometimes we don’t realize when we have been set up for a test. Don’t settle. Keep holding out for what you know is the thing you’ve been waiting for. Sometimes we have to let go of our expectations of how we think that will come about. Maybe you have to go create that community you desire instead of looking for it to be already made and a place for you to ‘fit into.’ I kind of think maybe that’s the answer for us – at least for now. I also read something yesterday that I had forgotten about, but it’s so true. Though we may feel a bit anxious about God’s timing, He is also preparing others to receive what we have to give. Both have to be ready at the same time. When others are ready, that is when He will move us into the ‘appointed place.’ At least you have a timeline. You know you have to move in August when your lease is up. God will provide the right place and His timing is perfect. Not by our plans and desires but according to who He has called us to impact.There is a door with your name on it!

    • Laura, This is so encouraging and rich, just like many of the posts on your blog, too. Thanks abundantly because on the way home yesterday, I kept thinking to myself, “I will settle where God wants me BUT I won’t settle.” And there it is right in your comment. The places we looked at yesterday, all looked right, but it seemed that it was just not the dream. So we have to make a decision to forgo even considering this place. it is all about God speaking to us through this journey and in this, there is perfect peace.

      One other thing – what you said that if we cannot find what we want, we may have to create it. That has also been in our hearts but after years of this wilderness, I need the confirmation from the Lord to begin something ‘out of the box’ filled with the love of God and His grace. Thanks for the comments Laura.

      I took a minute break and read your comment all over again and again I will say, rich,rich, rich – thank you. I love the part about the ‘it’ moment.

      • You’re welcome Debra. I love reading your stuff. When I read the “No Room at the Inn” blog I felt moved to call you and say, “Hey, can I just pray for you? ” Because we really are on the same journey and I totally get everything you’re saying. We are waiting on confirmation also for the same things. I honestly can’t figure out if we are waiting on God or if He is waiting on us to just start doing what we know to do, just simple church out of our home or taking the guitar, worship and our gifts to others homes and see where it goes. Maybe that’s not such a bad thing in the waiting time. 🙂

      • Hey I agree with you about whether God is waiting on us when we think we are waiting on God. I so agree with that. It is all a matter of how to start for us……where? Each place we look at falls through so that means we start each new day fresh…….here’s an idea. Will give you our phone number via Facebook messenger so when we head that way we can meet or you and I can talk. That would be great…….there are so many out and about that would not step in a church for any reason. Sounds reasonable to me considering that what many often find is diametrically opposed to the reality of Jesus Christ, His abounding love, grace, and mercy to touch the heart in healing and restoration. So many looking for Him without knowing it and in reality the ‘church’ shines forth with every thing at times, but the reality of who He is. 🙂 🙂

  4. Morning Debra
    It is good to hear of your step by step walk. Many others know of the things you write but you have the calling to write them down. And that gives a sense of security and hope to those making a similar journey who read your blog.

    Exciting to hear your lease got extended so you have more freedom to keep looking. I am always amazed as I see His Ways revealed… So different from my ways and my timing! That’s been my heart cry in this season… Teach me your ways oh God that I might know more of you……!

    You continue to be brought to my mind and with thanksgiving I trust the Lord to be accomplishing his plan and purpose of recreating you in His likeness and from your blog he seems to be bringing himself forth in your mind will and emotions in newer dimensions to his glory….!

    • Thanks Meri……….adventure stirs in my heart. If I had to have it any other way, I guess I would not know how to live. There are days I wonder if it would be best to settle more permanently but then I think “No, not us.” Thank God Marvin and I are in sync. 🙂

  5. “At this time, we can’t seem to settle, to find other people, outside of the internet, who seem to be going our way. I want the face to face with people, not just online.” This is exactly where I am now. Thank you for the connection.

    • Thanks Cindy. I hear you and we feel the same way. The internet is glorious and I would not have met the people that I have met but I want more of face time over dinner, praying, in worship, etc. 🙂

  6. “In any case, process is good and writing in process is really good…”
    You are not loosing me(us), definitely not as every word is spot on!
    “Whoever has ears, let them hear what the Spirit says to the churches.”
    (And uhh… there is always place in our ‘Swedish Inn’, so welcome :-)! )

    • Thanks…….keep dreaming along with me. Swedish inn – that sounds wonderful after spending time in Finland for so long there are days where Marvin and I wake up and miss the Nordic countries – the freshness, the solitude in the forests and by the oceans. 🙂 🙂

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