TD Jakes – whenever I want to be motivated and kicked in the butt with a challenge, I listen to TD Jakes. He has the innate ability and anointing to express, with great love, the need to look at oneself and change, accepting all my imperfections and failures and KNOW – God is indeed good, very very very good. My quote of the week:
“Don’t write the memoirs of pain and agony, writing from the REAR VIEW window.” TD Jakes
So, here it is. One day before we actually do the pack up and move – I feel great. It is not a ‘great’ that is motivated by false assumptions or vain imaginations of what could be based on fear. It is a ‘great’ that is filled with the reality of how good and faithful God is.
I can’t look in the rear view mirror any more. Gazing at the past with some sorrow, great disillusionment, and deep discouragement at times. This woman is moving on. It has been so busy that despite my love of blogging, I found time itself to be at a premium with the move. So, I did not sit down to write BUT I have so much stirring in me that next week, revelation and thoughts and stuff will be coming your way.
It’s time to move past blogging angst – writing of pain, sorrow, disillusionment, etc. I know that may help people at times but what helps more is a revelation of Jesus Christ and the truth in His promises to us. No writing about unanswered questions that still remain unanswered – done. Moving on past blogging about the pain, the anger, and the sorrow. Moving into Christ and the hope that fills me with such expectation that I can hardly breathe at times. Moving with Christ into a future that is promised to me because He is faithful to complete what He started in me. Moving through revelation that helps me walk day by day, one step at a time into adventure and challenge and LIFE, unedited.
Where have I been these past years? Trying to be everything to everybody. I was whooping and hollering along with TD Jakes all the way from Ventura to Valencia last night. Amening and believing it 100% – accepting the reality of my life in Christ.
I used to be filled with passion and positivity and great faith. When I found myself talking more about my past, I realized that something in me stalled and died. When I realized that I blogged about the intricacies of introspection, I realized that is not always the way I want to go. As a mother, grandmother and daughter of the King, my job is to love you and to challenge many of you to keep moving. These blogs will not always sound oooshy and gooshy with love, but they will sound forth with love that is solid and believes in the reality of Christ within a person to live in an abundant life, despite any outward circumstances that drag one down.
Like TD says (paraphrasing here) – you can live in the ghetto but you don’t have to think like the ghetto. I have not lived in any ghetto but I lived in a prison in my own mind that limited and restricted me to the opinions of others along with the guilt and condemnation that comes from the past.
When we leave Valencia tomorrow, it’s almost September, the 9th month – a birthing month. For me, spiritual birthing. That could explain why I have been in a bad mood for the past 5 years. I am carrying a baby that is long overdue to be birthed. I found my birthing room in Christ, outside the walls, outside of institutional Christianity, at least for now. There is spiritual significance in the move taking place right now. I will not be looking in the rear view mirror any more. When I do that, I can’t see the future.
Sometimes when I want to detox from all the crap that comes with being an adult, I watch Disney – Finding Nemo, Toy Story, Madagascar and more. Okay, I do it a lot, not just sometimes. There’s something that brings you into the beauty of reality when you look through the eyes of a child. This kept coming to mind today. “To infinity and beyond.” Would you believe the Holy Spirit brought this one to me? God is indeed very very good. My trajectory is changed, catapulting into the great unknown, infinitely filled with possibilities in Christ. It’s all good. Enjoy the next season of this journey with me.