“How can you expect people to empower what you will not expose? How will it be named, funded, discovered if it is not exposed?” TD Jakes
As I said in yesterday’s blog, I know, deep inside me, there is a sense of destiny and greatness. I can feel it stirring within me, like a baby kicking. It’s been so long that I feel wayyyyyy over due. I want to get this baby out. What do I do? I want to be in sync with Jesus and Holy Spirit, relying on their strength to birth at this time. What do I DO?
‘Do’ seems to be a negative word in Christian circles. Christians DO a lot, through self-effort, performance, pleasing people, or following the latest movement or trend. ‘Do’ can imply works based on the flesh or someone trying to get ahead to be something by doing something. So, word after word comes forth of being still, just being, basking, or soaking in His love. It’s all good but I want to DO – now. It’s time. Spiritual birth is accompanied by God-given strength to DO. This baby comes with pain and lots of pushing.
Supernatural life, as a seed of destiny, planted inside me years ago by God is now time to come forth and come out. Being for years – months and years of waiting, pregnant with possibility, carrying revelation, ideas, and creativity – thinking, praying – being. Year after year, I look down and see life stirring in me. I can’t deny it any longer. I have to accept this reality of destiny and calling, despite what others think, say or feel. It is now undeniable, as my ‘spiritual belly’ has gotten so big. It’s time to bear down and from this place of being pregnant; there is now work to be done in the process of birthing. I invite all of you into this process today.
Call the midwife. Wait? What? Holy Spirit is here. And, so is Jesus and the Father. They’ve been here all along through the pain all these years, often silently watching and waiting as this spiritual baby grew inside of me. This is an appointed time for this – God’s perfect timing. Now. Today.
The precious Holy Spirit, coming alongside me to carry me through this delivery. In this place of birth, there arise memories of pain and heartache and lost time from seasons past, but there’s not time to think about that now. Contractions are increasing and birth is near. Who has time to relive past mistakes now? I am pregnant with possibility, but it takes work to bring this baby forth, with lots of pain, blood, mess and a myriad of emotions.
The present is now and the contractions are here. There is no alternative but to push. You see, I can’t DO this without the supernatural help of the Lord. And, He’s right here with me, every step of the way.
With each contraction, there comes a burst of pain. It is necessary. Beauty is birthed in pain to bring forth this spiritual baby. I know the name. God gave me the name. Rivers of Eden Ministry, years ago in 1997. It’s been a long long time. I carried this promise for so long that I intimately know everything about Rivers of Eden but I am still unable to verbalize its reality until I see its beauty and grace. Until I look at it upfront and personal, seeing it as a gift from God to me.
At this time, so close, the lies still try to invade this holy place of birth as a last-ditch effort to immobilize me with fear, discouragement, and disillusionment. They say:
“It will be stillborn. It won’t stand a chance.”
“You’ll die in the process and then what?”
“Even if Rivers of Eden is born, don’t you remember the past? All those mistakes. Oh yeah the anger, the wounds in your life. Remember who you were? Remember who you are? Don’t think that people will forget.”
Don’t you know that the enemy never gives up, never? Yet, alongside these voices of accusation comes a voice like no other. A voice so still, so serene and so beautiful that my focus is averted from the lies to the truth of my life in Christ.
Oh yes, you shaped me first inside, then out;
you formed me in my mother’s womb.
I thank you, High God––you’re breathtaking!
Body and soul, I am marvelously made!
I worship in adoration––what a creation!
You know me inside and out,
you know every bone in my body;
You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit,
how I was sculpted from nothing into something.
Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth;
all the stages of my life were spread out before you,
The days of my life all prepared
before I’d even lived one day
Here it is – “Strength to Birth.”
At this moment of being so bottomed out, so weary, so discouraged, unbelieving, without reputation, finances, honor – rejected by many, misunderstood and invisible. I need strength and have found it in Christ. Right here. Right now.
This is the month. The 9th month – September AND quite gloriously, the exact month that my children, Ryan and Kristen were born. Don’t ever think that God is not in the details.
‘Push.” Christ in me, the hope of glory – my being. His creative purpose in Rivers of Eden Ministry in my life – my doing. Both work side by side in His glorious grace and mercy. Bear down. Push and out comes this baby. It is time. Now.
So what does this baby look like? After years of carrying this vision within my spiritual being………..what does it look like? Rivers of Eden Ministry – I’ll share more with you soon. This is my life in Christ. I simply can’t do things any other way than creatively and so this blog comes forth. To deny the essence of my life in Christ is death to the vision God has placed inside of me. Creative expression – to gaze upon His beauty and to reflect His glory AND to impart that truth into the lives of others all over the world.
Yes, I can write things out in a more reasonable, understandable format where those more analytical than myself would understand but then, I would cease to be me. I want those outside the box, those who color outside the lines and think outside the norm. I am stretching way out on a limb here, trusting my inner feelings on a blog where many will critique, pass judgment, or disdain me, trying to keep me where they want me to be. Well, that won’t work because I am changed inside. There is nothing to prove and nothing to lose. Just me.