Hidden In Plain Sight – A Time of Preparation Amidst Provocation

Apart From MeTrying to force myself to be seen at the same time that God’s hand was holding me back me for a season is not wise. A growing inner tension within my being left me increasingly tired. But, it’s not me to quit without a fight. God was happy to oblige but the funny thing is that I was the only one fighting. Kind of like boxing into mid-air, wearing myself out along the way, while all the time God waited for me to give in and just rest in being hidden in plain sight.

Amidst the whining, the complaining and the fear, God could have given me what I wanted just to shut me up and to teach me some lessons, like a good Father does. Thank goodness, He just waited patiently as His child (me) wanted her own way in her own time. My continual cry:

“Oh God, release me, pleeeease! I can’t take it any more! I hurt. My heart hurts. What do you want from me?”

Lesson learned in hindsight: My sense of timing is never God’s sense of timing. In this season, I learned to walk in a daily learning curve where day by day, I simply rested in the perfection of His plan for me, His way.

One more thing.

These times of internal preparation while being hidden are also times of provocation by the enemy who loved to harass me. (God on one hand placing me in obscurity and the enemy on the other, continually harassing me.) He loved to tell me that my life was being wasted and forgotten. He maligned the character of God and then had the audacity to wait for me to agree with him.

His accusations:
God can’t be trusted.
God has left you in this place to rot.
You can’t cut it and have been disqualified.

It’s the same old garden trick: “Has God indeed said?” (Adam, Eve, the snake – Genesis. Read it. It’s good.)

Flustered, totally frustrated, whining, crying, shouting, I was worn out, and sick of myself. What now? How could I believe that God, who I thought I knew, would place me in this painful season? Is this love? My accusations hit a crescendo. I leveled all kinds of charges at God for a while. And, when I was not accusing Him, I walked in a void, unable to see His hand in all of this hiddenness. I truly believed that somehow, in some way, God failed me.

Being hidden in plain sight was indeed a time of provocation but it was also a time of preparation. My hiddenness had a purpose but I failed to see it from heaven’s perspective. How could I when I was accusing God of not knowing what was best for me? The revelation began to unfold and then here comes this blog topic, which I continue to explore. God’s ways are not our ways; they are so much better but not always easily understood, at least not for me and definitely not in a place of being hidden in plain sight.

I repented (complete change of mind, change of heart to see and to know). I fell for the enemy’s line: “Has God indeed said?” (The ultimate accusation spoken by the snake in the Garden. It still works today for many of us.)

What went wrong? Thinking God’s ways were my ways. Not truly understanding Him, knowing Him. My being hidden in plain sight had a purpose, yet I failed to actually see it through an eternal perspective.

At that place of total submission in the midst of not truly understanding, God says, “Are you done yet?”
And I say, “I’m done.” I look at Him, sheepishly and somewhat askew. “Am I still hidden?”

And He says, “Yes.”

And I say, “Okay. But…….”

He interrupts my need to know and says, “I love you. You may not understand this now, but it’s good for you. Trust me.”

DebraIn Christ,
Debra

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3 thoughts on “Hidden In Plain Sight – A Time of Preparation Amidst Provocation

  1. Hi Debra,
    The work God is doing in you is so familiar to me and to many others around me in this hour. The last month particularly since I have been “out of church” has been a time of transition to what I am not sure. Several doors opened for awhile and then shut. Like you I know it is a time of personal preparation and equipping for the journey ahead. Many others around me are in this same place seeing other “elevated” while they are seemingly passed over yet they are found “secure” in his love and care despite being hidden in plain sight as you put it so well. Hidden is something the Lord has spoken to me so many times. In one congregation he said to stay hidden in the pew. And to reinforce it, twice in one Sunday, a morning service and an evening service, I was out under the power of the Spirit as when i came out from under His power, I found myself under a pew, some ways from where I remembered being. The second time I just laughed and laughed and laughed at his way of instructing. That has been a reminder these last 20 years that it is OK to be “hidden in the pew” as I learned to call it.

    Some of those years I was working fulltime as a drug and alcohol counselor and found a niche there that God had planned for me while not being seen or functioning in the congregation.

    I am slowly learning that being conformed to His image is what He is working in me and operating in ministry gifts is really very secondary to His purposes. Learning how much of “ministry” is “I” focused instead of the revelation of Himself, the time He reveals Himself through a ministry to His own people..has been a present learning experience. How often WE get the value of ministry, WE like the feeling of ministering, WE like the response people make instead of the focus being what He is deserving of, what HE is doing. Recently I reread Paris Reidhead’s 10 Shekels and a Shirt, and in it he calls all that kind of ministry the Humanism in the Church….going to church to feel good, receiving Christ so I can escape hell and go to heaven. Had a guy come for counseling…he told me flat out he had surrendered to the Lord “again” hoping to get his wife and family back. When we talked about what the Lord wants, it didn’t suprise me he didn’t return when he found that Christ isn’t a magic wand to get his wife and family back, or deliver him from all his lusts and desires. It really helped me see, so much of our relationship is as you put it so well, all about “me” instead of about what He is, what He purposes to do in and through us, etc. What He deserves from us and his people/his creation!

    think you are special Debra and glad you are writing these so very pertinent posts.

    • Thank you Meri! I was thinking about you the other day. I deactivated my FB account for awhile, time undetermined. It became a hindrance to me and so decided to get off and just BE for a bit. What you say is great and is actually quite encouraging to me. As you know, so many of us are separated by miles and to know that others are feeling this is quite good. Wrote this at 2 am. Could not sleep so this came out. Will stay with this topic for a bit. Let’s talk by phone soon if you want. Have your phone number.

      • Good to hear back from you. Many many of the mature saints that I know are hidden today. I would like to get rid of a lot of those on my fb as it takes so long to look through for the people I do want to keep in touch with….you are so right…it takes so much time….even my email today piles up so fast that I miss stuff…..Until sometime down the road………..Meri

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