When I awoke out of sleep the other night, I heard this question resounding in my spirit. I love questions from God. He also loves questioning me. I am never too quick to answer or lean into my own wisdom. Nighttime is perfect for this. I am not quite awake yet with my own thoughts.
There are always layers to questions. They are not always quite what they appear to be. What does this one mean?
This question summoned me to come apart to spend time with Him. At first I tossed and turned. I started to get up and lay back down. I tossed and turned some more. Finally, I went into my office, began to pray and waited on God with a journal close by.
Do I believe that I was born and placed in time by accident or intelligent design? It makes a difference in how I live my life. I believe I was born into time for such a time as this. I believe in my salvation in Christ, my eternal life in Christ now.
Yet, if that is true, and it is, then why am I so out of sync with life at times and even with myself – my feelings, my desires, my promises? Why do words such as breakthrough and destiny flow from my lips even when I feel out of sync saying them for I know inside of me are fears of all kinds? Why do I feel as if I wander at times, randomly waiting for life to take hold of me and suddenly push me in the right direction of my promise or breakthrough?
As a human being, I can feel fragmented and separated from my authentic self. Who exactly is my authentic self? It’s quite simple and the older I get, the simpler it becomes. I look no further than He who lives His life in and through me.
I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me. (Galatians 2:20 NKJVS)
I am in Christ. His life is in me. I died and now live in resurrection power in Christ. Some days that plays out better than other days when life sends its challenges and I surely forget this. When that happens, I run back into truth to recapture the revelation of the finished work of the cross of Christ. I stand in that place as I remember and Christ re-members me in His truth.
Every time that life seems to pull me in many different directions to where I don’t even know myself, He is there, reminding me that I am whole in Him. Nothing overpowers me. He is my life. I have died in Christ to live in the purity of resurrection life. That is truth – a truth that is imparted to me over and over again. In the worst of situations, His grace is sufficient for me. In my weakness, He is strong.
Therefore we were buried with Him through baptism into death, that just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, even so we also should walk in newness of life. For if we have been united together in the likeness of His death, certainly we also shall be in the likeness of His resurrection. (Romans 6:4-5 NKJVS)
I am joined to Christ in the power of the cross and the power of the resurrection. That is the glory of intelligent design. I live in Christ. Nothing can separate me from that – not fear, not worry, not depression, not anxiety…not anything. I am not an accident randomly placed in time to wander amidst uncertainty and apprehension, separated from my authentic self, drowning in a false image that the world at large tries to shove down my throat. I am made by His intelligent design. The breath of God courses through my life.
I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; marvelous are Your works, and that my soul knows very well. My frame was not hidden from You, when I was made in secret, and skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth. Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed. and in Your book they all were written, the days fashioned for me, when as yet there were none of them (Psalms 139:14-16 NKJVS)
How can anything separate me from the love of Christ? How can anything separate me from Christ in me, my union in Christ? It can’t but it does try to create an illusion or a fog that causes me to look outside myself at circumstances, situations or any life challenge.
Yet in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romans 8:37-39 NKJVS)
I am not randomly moving in time, wandering, and wondering. My life is in Christ and in Christ there is grace to empower me to live as a child of God. Wandering through life, without rhyme or reason, is not my lifestyle. To randomly wander in life is to be separate from this truth. I am not here by accident. I am created by intelligent design, the God of the universe who sent His Son, Jesus Christ for me so that I may live life in Him through the power of Holy Spirit.
I will end with this. There is a pressure to have answers, tie up loose ends, get to the heart of the matter and provide a solution. So many people want a way out and it is simply not possible. Again, life is about process and every step along the way; it is in the journey that we discover the heart of God. This Christian life is all about relationship and we don’t take our cues from the world in how to walk this out and how to live our life. Our life is in Christ, not the world. There is so very much to say on this as time goes on.
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