He stood me up on a wide–open field; I stood there saved––surprised to be loved. (Psalms 18:19 Message)
I stand amazed in a wide-open field of freedom. A thought hits me, “This is a place of unrestricted movement. I can do it all. I can be all.”
This moment brings a revelation of unbridled freedom. At last! For years I languished under internal laws and restrictions brought about by my own deep rejection and insecurities. It just feels good to know that I am free, in Christ.
I look around. What’s that in the distance? Border. Boundaries. Fences.
Even in my freedom, there’s a sense of restriction providing safety, hemming me in on every side. Under the shadow of His wings (Psalm 91) He shelters me, protects me, quite often from myself and my own sense of journey into places that are good but not excellent for me.
Unbridled freedom can lead me into confusion and distraction apart from the leading of Holy Spirit. My own sense of entitlement, believing that now that I am free, I can do anything I want, can easily rule and reign. But as I said before, not everything that is good, is good for me. It is only in surrender that true freedom comes to His will and the ways of Holy Spirit.
I arrive in this place in process, restored but still being restored to the wholeness of my salvation. There is still a deep truth, an unfolding revelation of Christ in me needing to be established as I live, move and have my being in Christ. Inside of me, there is still that sense of upholding ‘ME”. Self-preservation brings on a fear of losing myself totally to the unknown. I hold on just a bit to something so I can call it my own.
Could it be that after years of fear on so many levels that I want to control a little part of my life? Just a little bit? Of course that’s it. I try to deny it but the evidence is quite clear. And yet, His grace is sufficient and in the midst of my own self-preservation, He loves me and shows me a better way.
Here I am in a broad place. I want to get this right this time so as not to be propelled back into a place of restriction and grief, dead ends and false starts.
He also brought me out into a broad place; He delivered me because He delighted in me. (Psalms 18:19 NKJVS)
I can dance. I can move. I can live. Is this really true? Yes.
Christ has set us free to live a free life. So take your stand! Never again let anyone put a harness of slavery on you. (Galatians 5:1 Message)
You know, I can get lost in freedom, endlessly wandering from one thing to the next, going here, going there, a little bit of this, a little bit of that. One more conference. One more book. What am I trying to achieve? Perfection? Why? So that somehow God sees I am worthy on some level? Yuk!
I need restraint in my freedom to point the way, His way. And I definitely need a bit of structure and discipline to set me on a path of destiny. He knows where He is taking me, where He wants me to end up before I go to the next place of glory in faith.
In this place, right here, right now, You Jesus set my feet down on a path of life. You know me through and through, when I stand, when I move, what I feel, how I see. Now that I am here, I must accept that Your way is My way. You are the way for me, a path of light and life, hope and love.
As I wander through this broad place, my imagination runs wild for I know I am a woman who loves creativity, adventure and journey. Things that pop up along the way can distract me, often losing the course of my day. I guess I am both right and left brained for there is this rational side of me alongside this wild creative side. Hmmm.
Wait – what is this I see? In the midst of this broad place, there is a path forming right before my eyes. It is a narrow way in the midst of a broad place.
I see it like this.
Then Jesus answered and said to them, “ Most assuredly, I say to you, the Son can do nothing of Himself, but what He sees the Father do; for whatever He does, the Son also does in like manner. (John 5:19 NKJV)
There are many ways in the Way. There are many paths to follow. I believe for me I have to simply listen, trust, obey and move, even if I don’t see the total outcome. If I don’t, I can be wandering in freedom forever accomplishing very little in my life. Focus is not my focus.
The voice of Holy Spirit whispers, “This is the way. Walk in it.”
(These thoughts today spring from my own frustration within my own creativity. I have been easily distracted and wind up easily frustrated. Why? I did not do the one thing that God asked me to do.
I started out good but somehow it was not enough for I could not see the outcome so I added, a bit here and a bit there. Before I knew it, I was on a rabbit trail of so many things I lost my focus. Lesson learned Father.
I forgot the simplicity of the instruction and His grace to lead me along the set path to get me to where He wants me to me.
Why do I do this? It’s quite simple. I feel that I should be excellent and do just a bit more than what God asks and He will be so proud of me. That, my friends, is a lie, a subtle lie of performance. I pulled it all back, reeled it all in. So I sit here in the library to study faith, imagination allowing the Holy Spirit to lead the way. I pray you get the point here. Stay focused on exactly what God tells you to do. In fact, I would challenge many today to forgo trying to be everything to everyone, a jack-of-all-trades master of none. Follow His path. His way.)
In Christ, Debra