Hidden In Plain Sight – So Much To Learn

In seasons of my life when I am transitioning from one place into a new place, I am often hidden in plain sight. Not a fun place to be. Funnier still is that God Himself initiates and maintains this time for me. He waits for me to stop moving so much and just sit still for a bit. If I don’t discern the time, I will find myself in great pain trying of my own will to wiggle out of it. Not understanding the ways of God’s love for me, I can consider it a divine chastisement or deep rejection by some heavenly courtroom passing a verdict that says: “Unqualified.”

Hidden in plain sight teaches me to trust God and God alone. He knows me and has my best interests in His heart. And, He wants to see how I respond when He is all I have to define my life. What happens as I am stripped of so much that forms my identity according to the world’s demands? How do I handle the pressure of being constrained by the hand of God to submit to this place even when it hurts? How do I handle being passed over when I know I am the woman for the task and there’s some great stuff within me?

He waits until I release. Release what? All of my life into His life, His plans, His purpose, and His way. Obviously that is taking awhile. I still feel somewhat hidden, no matter what I do, but I know that this will not be forever. This does not mean that I stand still, not doing anything but waiting and wondering where I am heading. Each day is a journey. I just don’t try to make things happen anymore. I don’t walk ahead of His purpose, but I do keep walking. And, when someone forgets my name for the 100th time or forgets the name of Rivers of Eden, I can smile now. Heaven knows all the necessary details.

This is a good season, one filled with a growing wisdom in me. Continual downloads of wisdom fill my being, transforming my life and my accompanying actions. I am learning to listen more and speak about me much less. I am learning to quiet down to see and hear in the Spirit with greater accuracy.

Lessons are learned through tears. If I even look sideways to see the immense favors on other ministries or other people, I lose my focus and can easily fall into a hole for a bit. So I don’t. I keep looking forward, focused on Jesus and His plan for me, not some one else.

20 Then Peter, turning around, saw the disciple whom Jesus loved following, who also had leaned on His breast at the supper, and said, “ Lord, who is the one who betrays You?” 21 Peter, seeing him, said to Jesus, “But Lord, what about this man?” 22 Jesus said to him, “ If I will that he remain till I come, what is that to you? You follow Me. (John 21:20-22 NKJVS)

Yep I am a lot like Peter. Peripheral vision at this time is not a good thing.

You know, it’s true what God said to me.

“Time is not working against you. Time is on My Side. Follow Me.”

DebraIn Christ,
Debra

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Walk This Way? Will I Miss It?

Little Guy With PostitsAll of us, at some point, struggle with knowing God’s will for our lives and then walking in the revelation of it. Should this even be a struggle? No. Yet it is to many people. As I drop my religious façade, I realize that knowing the will of God is quite simple and is entailed on the simplicity of walking in relationship with Christ, not some agenda all worked out for us. There is a strong quiet momentum gained in realizing that I live, move and have my being in Him.

It is perhaps religion that has tethered me to thinking that Holy Spirit is like my GPS. (I believe I have even said that before – sorry, grace, grace, grace to me.) I just put in the coordinates and BAM…I arrive at my destination by a series of turns, left, then right, then straight, perhaps back, then left…do you get the picture? It actually doesn’t happen that way. I thought it did but this ‘move’ taught me some profound, deep insights into walking with God. I am in process, still learning. And, perhaps, there may come another shift in the destination of our move within the next month. Perhaps. God is not entirely interested in me ‘getting it’ or apprehending the lesson of the moment as He is in just loving me through the process. As for today, there is perfect peace and rest in Christ.

“There have been many teachers, gurus, religious founders and philosophers in the history of the world. All of them have taught moral words of wisdom, laws, doctrines, in effect, “Go this way.” Jesus Christ, in contrast is unique. The center of His teaching was not “Keep these rules,” or “Go this way,” or “Follow these practices.” Jesus always pointed to Himself and simply said, “Follow Me.” Walking in the Will of God – Steve McVey

This is grace, founded in relationship. There are no religious formulas to finding the will of God. There is no set path where we are guaranteed success every step we take. Relationship with Christ forms the way in Him, and He lights up the path with being the Living Word of life. In relationship, He walks, teaches, shows us, speaks to us…relationship.

What's nextFor months now, each day, I looked to an old paradigm that I learned through years of charismatic indoctrination wondering if I was missing something. How else do I say it? In years past I fasted, prayed, cried out to find that perfect path in which I would be guaranteed to find the Lord’s pleasure in me. The more I did to seek His will, the more I would be assured that at just that right moment, VOILA!!! – revelation would pour down on a suddenly moment.

Revelation will rise up within us BUT it is not because I am trying to prove something to God or performing so that He looks down and rewards my performance with some answer. Here’s the news – He is pleased with me, on all accounts, at all times. I don’t look outside myself as if a drone is going to drop something into my front yard with a document that details the steps I must take. At times, yes, that would be easier but that is not the point here. It is the relationship with the ONE who I love and who loves me. There is great courage in being still and knowing He is God, day by day by day.

This desire to ‘get it right’ caused frustration, lack of peace and a deep restlessness in me to find out where to move, why we were moving there, for what future purpose, etc. It basically came down to the fact that unless I discovered the right way, somehow God would be displeased with me AND….

I will miss it.

What is it? My future. My destiny. Being in the right place at the right time.

In fact, this is so BIG in me that on my recent trip to Calgary something happened. A woman walked up to me and said, “God says to tell you that you won’t miss it.” This fear of missing it is ingrained deep inside of me. God is dealing with that.

What if I flyNow, I truly do believe I should be in the right place at the right time but the onus is NOT on me to get me there. My desire is to focus on Christ, living in Him and He will make my paths straight. AND, if I get into a mess, even well-intentioned and well-meaning if not a bit determined and hard-headed, He will show me how to get into the right rhythm with Him. It’s all about relationship.

The crux of my life is no longer to wake up in the morning hoping I get it right, fearing I will miss it, or even wanting to know that somehow I make an impact on the world around me. The crux of my life is Christ. And I can see the fruit of this in this very day.

When we made the decision to take this apartment, we were at the end of all our own good decisions. Absolutely nothing worked. Each place we tried to be positioned according to where we thought, ended up being discarded or lost to another applicant. Or, I would get home and second-guess myself thinking we could not afford it. Or, I would ask myself if this is where God really wanted us – lost in suburbia never to be found again – somewhere in the San Fernando Valley. Yes, I hate to admit but I am a bit hyper at times………..

Then we walked into this apartment, believing it was not ‘it’. Bells did not go off. A shofar did not blow. An angel did not sing. It simply felt right and within 10 minutes we had an apartment that came with peace, great peace. I may have made this all a whole lot harder than it needs to be. Now, I don’t believe it could have happened sooner because then this lesson would not be learned. It happened this way to show me that Jesus’ love for each of us is so profound, so real that the very light of His life, does indeed form a path beneath our feet as we walk forth each ordinary day.

There’s more to say but that’s all for now. Oh, one more thing. Now, just this morning, Marvin got a call about a job in Texas. What does that mean? Well, actually if this had happened just a few months ago, I would have frantically paced the floors saying over and over, “God, I don’t understand. What’s this? It’s all too confusing.’

But, I am quite happy to say that I did none of that. I simply smiled as God also smiled, I am quite sure, and said, “Here I am God, send me.” We are still headed for Oxnard/Ventura at the end of August. Sometimes, God does want to know if we will turn on a dime if He calls. I will. There is peace in today. That is good enough for me.

In Christ,
Debra Westbrook