Here I am, standing on the edge of a great canyon. Looking down all I can see is how deep the bottom seems to be. Looking up, the distance between me and the other side seems enormous. It’s over there, yet it is unattainable to me, even after all this time.
My ideas, dreams, revelation – there they are, on the other side. My declarations, what I believe – I spoke them forth, but they manifested in the distance, a bit of an illusion. Do I really believe them? All these declarations build up on the other side, far away from me. I interact with them in my heart; words come out of my mouth, yet I can’t seem to actually flow in their reality now.
I know what God has placed inside of me. I dream with Him each day, yet it never seems to manifest in the now, right now. My life’s design, that place of flow in my being, always appears elusive and distant, like I am fighting to get to a place that I already know I am at. How do I cross this great divide?
Echoes rise up from the canyon. These echoes are the sounds from the deep – accusations that remind me of the futility of even believing I can cross over. Accusations, over and over of what was and what is keep me from what can be on the other side.
Standing there, I am continually reminded what was – wasted time, fears, failures, regrets – all the necessary stuff that keeps me grounded in the past while standing in the present on the edge of this canyon of impossibility.
This is not just a story for me. During a time of worship and prayer yesterday, I received this as a vision. Throughout the day, I continually kept asking myself, “How do I get across to the other side?” Instead of bringing a sense of peace, this vision frustrated me.
I picked up ‘The Artisan Soul’ by Erwin McManus to continue reading where I left off, not knowing that I would receive revelation about my vision. Have you ever been reading and the words leap off the page into your soul? Then, they expand into a knowing, a deep knowing that changes your life in a moment. God brings the light of truth into the situation. He coordinated all these points of process for me – the vision, the book, the words. He combined them in creative ways to reveal Himself to me, right in the middle of my frustration and my relationship with Him is strengthened. I know that He loves me and deeply cares about my life. These words opened up a door of revelation for me.
“Scripture is permeated with the intention of God. Humanity is God’s culminating act of creativity, designed with the highest intention to reflect most personally the likeness of God. Intention precedes creation and essence informs intention.”
This is just a small quote from a glorious book. God loves details. Look at Scripture – the creation story, the building of the tabernacle, etc. etc. God is intentional before He creates and He creates for love of His creation (that being us) and for relationship with His creation (that being us). His intention forms His creation. What is in His heart and in His mind is formed and created through His intentional act of love for us.
All day I kept thinking of these words, “Intention precedes creation.” Standing on the edge of the canyon kept me in close proximity to the echoes of my past –its fears and failures. I am called to be creative yet I am not intentional in actually believing His creative design for my life, more often considering myself a fraud because of past mistakes. I am fearful of being intentional, of actually walking by faith into what I know to be true deep inside myself. Without intention, all this creativity just lays dormant inside of me, bound up in fears, wrapped in regret. This places me on the edge of the canyon. Intention requires risk, bravery and courage on my part. Intention requires BEING me. Intention requires focus and faith.
For the creative to flow in and through me, I must be intentional in that which I want to create in sync with God, Christ in me. All that flows under the surface, in the corners of my heart, in the depths of my soul, within my dreams and ideas right now deep inside me, must come forth with intention, trusting in God. Intention brings it out of me, amidst all the fear and trepidation. Intention is to trust God, trust Christ in me.
Intention = design, meaning, forethought, an aim or plan.
I quickly realized that despite everything, inside, deep inside, I am not intentional because I don’t truly believe God will flow through me and fulfill His design in me. That is why God gave me the vision. He wants me to start being intentional about why I am in time for such a time as this. Intention precedes creativity flowing through my life. He knows me.
Jeremiah 1:5 “Before I shaped you in the womb, I knew all about you….
God intentionally breathed life in me through Christ, creating me as His masterpiece. I, in turn, am to be intentional in creating life as I live, move, and have my being in him.
My words for 2015: Be intentional.
This blog for 2015 is on ongoing journey, one step at a time, one day at a time. Be intentional – that forms my bridge to the other side. At some point, one has to start living in faith, not fear.
This is a great quote:
“The past will be our future until we have the courage to create a new one. To make our lives a creative act is to marry ourselves to risk and failure.”
In 2015, each blog post is a journey. I won’t reach a resolution in each blog or give anyone a 10-step program to freedom or even how to be creative. I journey with words, ideas, dreams, pictures, and revelation into a new place. Enjoy the journey with me!
What’s keeping you from living and moving in what God has formed in you before you were even born? How can you move across your own great divide?