Creativity flows from BEING Me, in Christ!

Creative

Creativity flows from BEING ME.. in Christ!

In Christ, I live.

With Brave Wings, She Flies

In Christ, I move.

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In Christ, I have my being.

I create from my BEING, who I am, even if I don’t yet see the finished product of “Me”. I don’t wait until I arrive at some self-designated point of perfection. I create in the messiness of my life.  I create in the midst of process – my life – changing, growing, as He lives His life through me.

Creativity flows from imperfection. That’s life. I rise above the rubble of my insecurities, doubts, guilt or shame to enjoy the journey each and every day. The alternative to this is just existing, not living. Authenticity takes courage and risk, coming out from behind the mask, in process, not perfect and owning it all as being me – good, bad and otherwise.

The beauty of my humanness shines through as Christ lives His life through this imperfect vessel. In going from glory to glory, I relish the process of being where I am right now, at this moment. It is in this moment, creativity flows in many ways, first and foremost in a creative life, surrendered to Holy Spirit and the spontaneity of adventure.

I am in process, on a journey, a journey in Christ, with Christ – a life not static but dynamic. Day by day, always an adventure into the glory of the revelation of His life flowing through me. Christianity is exceedingly creative, if you just let Him BE in and through you, the way He wants to live His life in you.

When did Christianity ever get so boring for so many? I will unravel the lies that have tried to pull me down into conformity and fear for so long now. I will arise into the freedom that is mine in Christ, and help others to see their creative life in Christ. So here it is January 1, 2015. Happy New Year! The journey begins………

I care not for perfection. I love process and putting myself out there, authentic and real. That is what I can give to a generation younger than me-> a mom, grandma, lover of Jesus, creative, explorer, adventurer, filled with wisdom and failure, able to reach out and not be afraid to make mistakes, wanting to laugh at myself through it all, and hoping that my destiny is intertwined with those younger than myself so that I can give a bit of myself in the process. Creativity in Christ will awaken a generation of Christians who want no part of religion yet are so in love with Jesus that they want to journey in Him and with Him wherever He leads. Until next time.

DebraIn Christ, 
Debra

A Beautiful Birth!

“How can you expect people to empower what you will not expose? How will it be named, funded, discovered if it is not exposed?” TD Jakes

As I said in yesterday’s blog, I know, deep inside me, there is a sense of destiny and greatness. I can feel it stirring within me, like a baby kicking. It’s been so long that I feel wayyyyyy over due. I want to get this baby out. What do I do? I want to be in sync with Jesus and Holy Spirit, relying on their strength to birth at this time. What do I DO?

‘Do’ seems to be a negative word in Christian circles. Christians DO a lot, through self-effort, performance, pleasing people, or following the latest movement or trend. ‘Do’ can imply works based on the flesh or someone trying to get ahead to be something by doing something. So, word after word comes forth of being still, just being, basking, or soaking in His love. It’s all good but I want to DO – now. It’s time. Spiritual birth is accompanied by God-given strength to DO. This baby comes with pain and lots of pushing.

With Brave Wings, She FliesSupernatural life, as a seed of destiny, planted inside me years ago by God is now time to come forth and come out. Being for years – months and years of waiting, pregnant with possibility, carrying revelation, ideas, and creativity – thinking, praying – being. Year after year,  I look down and see life stirring in me. I can’t deny it any longer. I have to accept this reality of destiny and calling, despite what others think, say or feel. It is now undeniable, as my ‘spiritual belly’ has gotten so big. It’s time to bear down and from this place of being pregnant; there is now work to be done in the process of birthing. I invite all of you into this process today.

Call the midwife. Wait? What? Holy Spirit is here. And, so is Jesus and the Father. They’ve been here all along through the pain all these years, often silently watching and waiting as this spiritual baby grew inside of me. This is an appointed time for this – God’s perfect timing. Now. Today.

The precious Holy Spirit, coming alongside me to carry me through this delivery. In this place of birth, there arise memories of pain and heartache and lost time from seasons past, but there’s not time to think about that now. Contractions are increasing and birth is near. Who has time to relive past mistakes now? I am pregnant with possibility, but it takes work to bring this baby forth, with lots of pain, blood, mess and a myriad of emotions.

Einstein WomenThe present is now and the contractions are here. There is no alternative but to push. You see, I can’t DO this without the supernatural help of the Lord. And, He’s right here with me, every step of the way.

With each contraction, there comes a burst of pain. It is necessary. Beauty is birthed in pain to bring forth this spiritual baby. I know the name. God gave me the name. Rivers of Eden Ministry, years ago in 1997. It’s been a long long time. I carried this promise for so long that I intimately know everything about Rivers of Eden but I am still unable to verbalize its reality until I see its beauty and grace. Until I look at it upfront and personal, seeing it as a gift from God to me.

At this time, so close, the lies still try to invade this holy place of birth as a last-ditch effort to immobilize me with fear, discouragement, and disillusionment. They say:

“It will be stillborn. It won’t stand a chance.”

“You’ll die in the process and then what?”

“Even if Rivers of Eden is born, don’t you remember the past? All those mistakes. Oh yeah the anger, the wounds in your life. Remember who you were? Remember who you are? Don’t think that people will forget.”

Don’t you know that the enemy never gives up, never? Yet, alongside these voices of accusation comes a voice like no other. A voice so still, so serene and so beautiful that my focus is averted from the lies to the truth of my life in Christ.

Psalm 139:13-16
Oh yes, you shaped me first inside, then out;
you formed me in my mother’s womb.
I thank you, High God––you’re breathtaking!
Body and soul, I am marvelously made!
I worship in adoration––what a creation!
You know me inside and out,
you know every bone in my body;
You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit,
how I was sculpted from nothing into something.
Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth;
all the stages of my life were spread out before you,
The days of my life all prepared
before I’d even lived one day

 Here it is – “Strength to Birth.”

At this moment of being so bottomed out, so weary, so discouraged, unbelieving, without reputation, finances, honor – rejected by many, misunderstood and invisible. I need strength and have found it in Christ. Right here. Right now.

This is the month. The 9th month – September AND quite gloriously, the exact month that my children, Ryan and Kristen were born. Don’t ever think that God is not in the details.

‘Push.” Christ in me, the hope of glory – my being. His creative purpose in Rivers of Eden Ministry in my life – my doing. Both work side by side in His glorious grace and mercy. Bear down. Push and out comes this baby. It is time. Now.

So what does this baby look like? After years of carrying this vision within my spiritual being………..what does it look like? Rivers of Eden Ministry – I’ll share more with you soon. This is my life in Christ. I simply can’t do things any other way than creatively and so this blog comes forth. To deny the essence of my life in Christ is death to the vision God has placed inside of me. Creative expression – to gaze upon His beauty and to reflect His glory AND to impart that truth into the lives of others all over the world.

Yes, I can write things out in a more reasonable, understandable format where those more analytical than myself would understand but then, I would cease to be me. I want those outside the box, those who color outside the lines and think outside the norm. I am stretching way out on a limb here, trusting my inner feelings on a blog where many will critique, pass judgment, or disdain me, trying to keep me where they want me to be. Well, that won’t work because I am changed inside. There is nothing to prove and nothing to lose. Just me.

Debra and ChloeIn Christ,
Debra

Nothing to Prove, Nothing to Lose – Quotable Living

IMG_4825“When you have nothing to prove, you have nothing to lose.” Anonymous

I’ve been given that quote many times in my life. Right now, it forms a strong foundation in me. Now it is truth, but not always. Getting to this place involved a lot of stripping away of non-essentials that I actually believed formed the essence of Debra. Now I know Debra, all the quirks and imperfections and there is nothing to prove about my person, my substance for I am in Christ, in union with Him. There is nothing to lose anymore and that is freedom. Here is my life in one verse.

Colossians 1:27 –  “Christ in me, the hope of glory.”

I am in union with Christ. The me in Him is flowing each day in creativity and beauty. My life flows in action through the person of Christ in me. I don’t lose myself in excessive qualifications and justifications of who Debra is or is not anymore. Life is way too short for that. I found myself in Him, in His life and now I have nothing to prove in the midst of my life.

But, for years before this, there was a battle raging within me. In fighting to be accepted, I usually found myself out of the mix of the action. I did not like that at all. There was an inner emptiness in me formed from feeling alone and insecure that rejected this person called Debra. So I fought my life from a defensive position of trying to fit in or form myself to be accepted. Truth – I never was. I really never was. This only set up a circular motion of trying harder to prove my being to only be rejected again and to start the process all over again. I worked so hard at it that I lost myself in fear and shame. And, this happened as a Christian. And, this happened even when I walked in ministry. That just goes to show you, God anoints us despite our blatant imperfections.

For years, I walked into a room feeling so uncomfortable. I did not know how to have relationships. I did not know how to actually love people unconditionally. I lived behind a mask of fear – fear of being told that somehow, in some way, I was not right. Not in my actions, but in my being. That inner voice that consistently said that I was not right – my life, my looks, my voice, my thoughts, my beliefs. The funny thing about all of this is that most people think I am an extrovert because I can be outgoing when I need to be outgoing. In actuality, I went through all the motions at times because I was trying to find the Debra that I believed I actually was, and I was wrong. In finding Christ, I am finding me, the me He created me to be.

IMG_4726If you only knew some of my struggles, you would laugh. I do. Who is Debra? Ask that question to yourself. Who are you? Don’t try to prove anything. Be honest and forthright. I will start and then you write something out for yourself being totally honest. This is not self-indulgent okay. After all, it’s my blog and I hope this is helping you to be honest with yourself.

Debra is:

Funny

Unpredictable

Passionate, yet can sometimes get quite angry and let out a few cuss words at times

Impatient

Creative and spontaneous

Thrives on change and travel

A wife who loves her husband

A good but imperfect mom

Too loud

Too moody

People actually can tire me out if I am with them too much

I love solitude and times to be alone to read

I get bored so easy that I then get frustrated

I hate to cook

I love to read

I love reality shows

I despise condescension in any form coming from people

I love the underdogs because I am one

I absolutely love music of every type and every genre

Dogs are easier to be with then people at times and that is why I love Chloe, my French bulldog

I love to sit at dinner and really talk with my good friends over a great bottle of wine

I can’t live inland for the ocean makes me come alive

I love my friends because they really know me, really know me

I am a city girl married to a small town Texas man for 38 years and I believe it can’t get any better than that

I like confrontation and a good argument

I could go on forever but I will end here with a smile. Nothing to prove, nothing to lose. Oh yeah, one more thing…I love Starbucks, French fries and pizza.