Great Bill Johnson Video – Thankfulness In The Midst Of…..

This is short and powerful about being thankful in the midst of losing hope, feeling out of it all, loss, grief……..goes hand in hand with the past few blog posts on hope. Breathe and savor the blessing from the video.



In Christ,

Look Around – Some People Are Not Walking With You Into Your Future

Open RoadIt’s a sad fact but some people, no matter what we do, will not walk with us into our future. We may want them to with all of our heart, knowing that the fit seems perfect, at least to us. Yet, they stand resolute in the now, seeing us as we were but not as we are. Everyone and I mean everyone is capable of change and restoration in God’s grace. In Hm there is hope and restoration.

Our heart is still linked with their heart. We ask forgiveness, seek reconciliation, a second chance – and all the while time goes by without the slightest indication that the situation will change. They still stand and won’t move any closer to where we are.

Open DoorA choice has to be made, a sad choice but a true one. It is time to settle things within our hearts, look one more time, and move on. We have done all we know to do.

Reconcile this fact within yourself, focusing on the good in the situation, at least one good thing. All of us can find at least one good thing if not more in life’s difficult circumstances. It is time to reconcile with our self, our dreams, and our vision. Time to be restored and move ahead.

There may be a measure of grief in the parting- loss on many different levels. We can’t keep holding on. Standing too long in this place develops an inner hopelessness – a river of regret constantly flowing, looking back at possibilities that never came about over time.

PaintbrushThe future holds hope. Let’s walk. We don’t walk alone. Jesus walks with us in sync with our steps, healing, restoring in His  great abundant grace. He walks slowly at first as we come to terms with this loss that grips our heart. Filled with grace, He knows our pain and our sorrow.

He walks in sync with us for a bit but at some point down the road He picks up the pace and says, “Let’s go! You’ve spent too much time in introspection, deep reflection….let’s move. It’s going to be alright.”

This is truth, no matter how deep the pain there are only a few choices to be made – walk on or stand still. Don’t stand still focused on the now which links itself to the past in constant memories of regret.

Those people standing around us, whether in real life or in our constant memories – they’re not going with us into our future. We can’t make them go. It’s their decision now and perhaps one day they will meet us down the road but we can’t wait. Time is moving on and so must we. Be encouraged.

DebraIn Christ,

Creative Expression – How Wonder……….ful!

As a Christian, I need, must have, a sense of beauty, majesty, wonder, and mystery when I live in Christ. My sense of being in Christ lifts me up above, allows me to walk in eternity now, and enjoy encounters that defy my understanding. That is Christianity – not just getting by each day as if the mundane is the destination on your journey! And, it is a journey in Christ!

This is where I am today. Several thoughts to give to you so that your spirit would be impacted with hope, encouragement and joy, pure wonderful joy. Here’s a word, one word to start this off.

You can’t carry loss, regret, grief or mourning into 2014. Leave it! Leave it! Allow God to heal and touch your life with joy, which gives strength.

The joy of the Lord is my strength. Despite anything life is throwing at you, live in joy, even in the midst of suffering which will come, not maybe, but will come at some points along the journey. Don’t mourn anymore! Cast off the grave-clothes and live! Prophetically, I woke up heavy in my spirit BUT as I prayed, worshipped and prayed in tongues, reading His word, a lightness descended upon me from above and rose up within me from Christ and I started to see.

Heavenly PlacesHere’s another word. I enrolled in a ‘goal setting’ class. Haha! Never thought I would do that. Even thought I was ‘above it.” Yet, I enrolled in it and this class is changing my life. In this class, He identifies having a ‘push goal” – one goal that acts like a catalyst to set in motion everything else. One goal to get you going and moving. When I sat and thought about it for a while, I could not actually figure out what that ‘push goal’ would be for me. Then I had this aha moment and I knew. And over the past few days, it is proving to be so true. Rather I should say, He, Holy Spirit, is proving Himself to be so awesome.

My ‘push goal’ – to start my mornings early and to spend my mornings with the Lord.

That is not religious exercise. That is glorious. I wake up; get my journal, praise, worship and listen. I even pray in tongues at times for a half-hour while I BE in the Lord. He fails me not. There comes a word, a vision, and a revelation into my spirit that reveals His beauty, His splendor, and His kingdom being worked out in me and through my life. He is faithful to BE with me as I BE in Him. ☺ You see, that ‘push goal’ catalyzes everything else around me. It fires up my hope, my faith, and my vision to see. Despite everything life throws at me, He is with me.

So here are my thoughts from this morning.

I am seated with Christ in heavenly places. (Ephesians 2:6)

If then you were raised with Christ, seek those things which are above, where Christ is, sitting at the right hand of God. 2 Set your mind on things above, not on things on the earth. 3 For you died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. (Colossians 3:1-3 NKJV)

Do you see how often we are pulled down? Just spend time on Facebook and it can and does often drag you down into the mundane, into confusion and more. Wordy debates in Christianity – grace, faith, love, and joy hope – everyone has an equal and opposing opinion. I am sick of it all. No one actually has it all right so I leave it behind, totally behind. Creativity is birthed in greater ways through my life when I spend my time with Him and my focus on Holy Spirit. There’s my way!

My grace awakening did wonders for me. It is healing all performance to DO for God in order to BE for God. Yet, I am now hungry again for the prophetic and the supernatural moving of the Spirit. My life is built on movement in the Spirit, going to nations, speaking prophetically into people’s lives, and more. Years ago, I woke up at 2 am in the morning to encounter an angelic presence at my bed, calling me forth in the prophetic. It has been a long hard journey.

Rivers of Eden in Marvin and I is alive. I did not think it was. I said it could not be after all the years of defeat and failure. It is alive. Not outside of me, but inside of me right here and right now. What does that mean? Well, only that Holy Spirit will open His doors in the coming year into nations, cities, and even coffee shops – one on one and to many. I simply trust in that AND that is enough for me right now. Let’s see where this journey starts!

Life is alive again because I washed up on the shore of my destiny, beaten, bruised, wounded, tired, empty, ohhhhhhh so empty! I know nothing except Christ and Him crucified. I desire to speak His words again over nations and into people. I was not ready before this. I thought I was but I was not ready. Deborah, the bee, is me………… Christ.

What about you? Are your dreams dormant? Or even dead? Trust me when I say that I have been there and know. How I know! I am not into religious or spiritual clichés. I love the reality of the Living Word of God weaving His dreams through my life.

Comments? Give me one word that describes what you want for 2014. (Haha – I actually got that idea from Chuck Pierce but I have also used it before too.) What is that one word?

Creative Expression – Mirror, Mirror

Mirror ShatteredDisillusionment (disappointment, let down, discouragement) works side by side with disintegration (fall apart, fragment), attempting to shatter your identity in Christ!

God often speaks to me short and to the point, choosing words that point to profound change and transformation if I choose to meditate on what He is saying at that time. His words can cut like a knife or flow like honey. Whatever way He chooses to bring them as a good Father, they bring confrontation and a choice to change. I still believe that a good Father, a really good Father, will speak to his children in varying tones of love. His words don’t always sound poetic or flowing. They can also sound confrontational and strong. Yet, again, love has many varied tones. That is a good Father. His words, always rich, full and right on time.

His words: Disillusionment fastens itself to disintegration! 

I sat and listen to what He is telling me. Then I close my eyes and receive an accompanying vision, a story from the Lord, filled with hope and restoration.

His vision reaches into the depths of my spirit, often where words simply cannot reach me. Let me share it as if I am telling you a story.

There she is standing in front of a mirror. It is me or it can be you. Looking, intently gazing at the image, she wonders about her life, questioning some things that are not easily understood. The questions are internal, not voiced but pondered within, as she stares at the image before her. She admits to herself that she really does not like what she sees. Outwardly, she appears content and happy. If she were to really admit it, she expected more than this in life. Disillusionment has left her fragmented, shattered, and wondering how to regroup lost time.

Suddenly the effects of disillusionment produce cracks in the mirror, right before her eyes. Her face begins to look distorted. Hope evades her for the promises are distant and ethereal, unable to be seen. Disillusionment crept into her soul, slowly but surely. The cracks show that hope has subtly turned to cynicism and doubt, wondering if God can be trusted. Would He come through for her?

She kept standing and looking at her image. Suddenly more cracks and distortions appeared right before her eyes. Any semblance of joy or beauty was gone. She did not recognize this woman. Everything is out of place in her life. She just kept staring, looking intently as she began to disintegrate, little by little, piece by piece.

That is what disillusionment does, you know. It fragments hopes, dreams and faith until all that is left is pieces of a life that are unrecognizable. The enemy, over years of accusations, kept asking the same question over and over and over. “Has God said?”

These words produced an inner disintegration of her very being, having her question everything she knew about God, everything she believed about God. Looking at herself, she knew that this woman, shattered and fragmented, is not the woman that she is created to be in Christ. She could not look anymore at this distorted image. Looking down at her feet, she saw sharp, jagged pieces of glass scattered all around her. There she was, fragmented pieces of a life that had once been full of passion and promise. How did this happen?

She looks up. The mirror is gone. Her image is gone. There is nothing left. Nothing. In that moment, reality hits illusion. This is when God is God or He is nothing at all, only a vague nebulous being in the sky that seems distant and unaware of her inner pain and struggle. This is it.

Pieces falling to the ground all around her, shattering into more minute pieces as they hit the ground. The mirror is gone. The image is gone. There is nothing left. Nothing. This is when reality hits illusion. This is when God is God or He is nothing at all, only a vague cloud in the sky that seems distant and unaware of inner pain and struggle and trials. This is it.

She looks down again at the pieces of glass, knowing that it was never supposed to come to this point of nothingness. There they lay on the ground. Time rushed in, life moved fast, like it always does. Live long enough and you will see this to be true.

At this point, silence pervades the atmosphere. Where are the tears? Too many have been shed. Where is the crying out? Too many years of that too. Silence is the appropriate response to this chaotic scene. She simply looks up and gazes. That’s all. She breathes. She sighs.

At that very moment of release, a wind begins to blow. It swirls around her, soft and gentle. The wind flows through the room and the pieces on the floor begin to move in the wind. At first, they rise up only inches off the ground, accompanied by a beautiful tinkling sound. Gradually, the wind increases in intensity and the shiny silver pieces strongly vibrate, hitting up against each other, yet they do not crack. They seem to have a momentum all of own, swirling and rushing around her feet.

The wind turns to a roar and it draws up the shattered silver pieces up and away flowing like a river towards the mirror form. Each piece hits the mirror in a strategic place. The sound is deafening to her ears. When they are all in place, the roar of the wind stops abruptly. There is only a deep silence. A silver-like river of shiny liquid suddenly begins to flow among the broken jagged edges. These pieces beautifully meld together until the mirror is restored to perfection again with no hint of any breakage.

All is silent. The woman cannot comprehend what has just taken place. There is fear in her heart, so she lowers her eyes, unable to look up into the mirror. She is apprehensive about what she will see. She breathes and looks up, slowly at first.

Me Jeremiah VerseTruth looks back at her from the mirror. Illusion has died.

Many of us struggle in time – its hopelessness, its pain, and all of the unanswered questions. These struggles erode our faith and belief in the reality of God’s love for us. Disillusionment leads to fragmented and shattered lives. We want answers. There are no easy answers. Life will still have many questions that evade our ability to understand it at times.

When there are seasons that I bottom out, seasons where my life just seems chaotic and random and void, it is at those times, He is real. He restores me and sets me on a new path of wholeness. I am richer for the experience. I can then encourage each of you to stand, when all hope seems lost, when grief overtakes you, when all is chaotic and crazy. Stand. Jesus Christ is real.

Racing Toward the Bottom!

ImageRead this with spiritual eyes and hear this with spiritual ears. I am being myself in this. I used to qualify so much of what I said because of a need to be understood. No more. Just enjoy and glean from this what you can. There are nuggets of truth for many of you.

I am racing toward being ‘bottomed out’ for the mountaintop continually evades me. The only way to climb it is by obvious means – self-promotion; extensive networking, conference invitations, book deals, Facebook posts, twitter followers and perhaps even some hype along the way. I can’t do it and some days I am just tired. So I am walking in grace, walking in the unforced rhythm of grace, walking with Jesus Christ. In doing that, I am not racing to the mountaintop but walking in the valley of reality where I not only look at my life, I see my life for what it is. Not an easy place for any of us.

To reach the bottom (qualitatively speaking) brings me face to face with reality in all its glory. It tires me out to maintain or sustain any kind of self-perceived recognition or reputation. I am passionately looking at His life, the life of Christ, in me. I see this life in Christ with no illusions or facades. I walk with Him with no presumption or protocol. Bring me down to the bottom, Lord, so I may live my life in you. I am not philosophizing here but being honest. Tired of religious crap today and weary of religious facades. So being honest with those reading this, writing with lots of grace.

Trying to believe to achieve what you desire is ludicrous. When you arrive at what you are believing for, what do you do? Well, if you initiated the journey, you will have to maintain what you initiate. That can get very tiresome in time. So I have decided to pull the plug on any and all ministry aspirations. I don’t want anything maintained on life support so I am letting ministry, as I have defined it, go and letting God lead the way. Sounds so spiritual but it is not meant to be anything other than the depth of my heart. This blog will take a great turn now showing the depths of my heart. I will see my life in Christ, not through the lens of building a ministry or establishing a following. Are you with me?

I am not talking to everyone who is reading this. I am reaching out to those who find themselves on the way down, because you are somehow fed up with programs, plans, agendas, image, and reputation. I want what is real and that is Jesus Christ. So I am racing to be bottomed out and the sooner the better because then He promises me, I will find myself in Him.

Luke 17: 33 If you grasp and cling to life on your terms, you’ll lose it, but if you let that life go, you’ll get life on God’s terms.

Lose your life to find your life. We fight that with all of our being. Who actually freely chooses insignificance, anonymity, obscurity or being alone with no clear direction in time. Raise those hands everybody!

I admit. I did not choose it for myself willingly. Yet, I find myself in the midst of this ‘bottoming out’ in a standing position of reality. I am BEING right now. I am not fighting to do anything. I am just being quiet and trusting. And, of course, blogging and letting you all in on this. Before I set one foot down again in ministry, I want to walk in His way, the way, in life and in truth. Crowds rush by me all having to be somewhere or do something. In all honesty, I am facing this transition in grace with a lot of time on my hands. That is why all the talk on the purpose of time.

I am losing any ability to define myself. I am simply incapable of refining myself except by His hand. So I choose today to wait until He brings me into this new way in Him. (Yes, for all of us grace people, I know I am in Him. But it is still a journey of discovery day by day!) My foundations are secure in the finished work of His cross. I stand in a broad place of exploration in Him. What am I looking for? Wait, I think I see a small glimpse of it. There it is. Simplicity of life in Christ. The journey begins. I am seeking Him outside the box and I shall find Him in greater and more creative ways. I am sure of it.