And the River Flows!

Blue Flowing RiverCreativity is like a river to me, flowing within the banks of discipline, hard work, risk, success and definitely failure. Without the restraint of the banks, the overflow of the river can be spontaneous and free but without direction and focus. It’s within the river that the work takes place in a flowing process, leading onward.

Creative people can get lost in moments that lead to other moments and before you know it, you are somewhere flowing over the banks far away from where you started. That seems free and spontaneous but it actually goes nowhere if you do that. Or we can just float along the river on a raft, enjoying the scenery but never putting creativity into action. There is restraint in creative process that requires risk and action.

I love spontaneity but I want to see my creativity harnessed within the process, between the banks of the river – greater flow, greater power to birth creative ideas. For me it’s like this. The creative process starts when I get ideas, thoughts, or revelation. As I move along with the river of God, these ideas grow and take form within me. I become focused and focus leads to action. Staying within the banks of the river requires risk and hard work. Staying within creative restraint, in the river between its banks, brings forth the work whether that is a blog post, art, music, business ideas or any number of ways. I can’t float along always talking about writing, dreaming – I take action in the flow.

Flowing RiverAt some point while flowing along in the river, faith and risk are byproducts of my discipline in the river. I got in the water. What did I expect? To float along forever, risk free, without any manifestation of my dreams, my creative ideas? That’s for people flowing over the banks – not me. I find myself alive in this creative river. I risk. I dream. I try and I keep trying. I do the work here. Creativity that only lives in ideas, never manifesting into reality, is not what I want at this point in my life. I keep flowing along. The scenery changes, birthing new ideas. People join me in the flow and we may even hook up for a bit to produce something in synergy that I could not produce alone. There is so much to say about this isn’t there?

As I live, move and have my being in Christ, rivers of living water in Holy Spirit flow out from my inner life, manifesting in so many creative diverse ways, touching other lives. It all starts in the river for me. Our ministry, Rivers of Eden, can be seen in this blog post. As I am writing this at Starbucks, I see that now. Over the years, the enemy has tried to block, dam, and dry up the river but it is still flowing through me and through Marvin, taking us on this creative journey. Now it’s time for others to join us in the river so we can impart life, love and creative destiny in Christ.

DebraIn Christ
Debra

I would love to speak at your conference, gathering, church or home group. Contact me here, on Facebook or on Twitter. Enjoy reading about Rivers of Eden and the Timeline of our Life!

To Be Or Not To Be – Why Do I Sometimes Feel Like A Fraud?

When I encounter a moment in time where everything in me is in sync with that moment, I face a choice – enter the moment by jumping wholeheartedly into it OR retreat, stepping back into fear. I could be reading a book, watching a movie, or talking to a friend when I feel that I what I am doing at that moment is linked with my very destiny inside. Everything seems to resonate within me that I am encountering life, true abundant life.

While reading The Artisan Soul, I reached a point where I felt the words leap off the page. It was as if these were my words, my passion to be creative and to encourage those who are. I saw possibility, destiny, and adventure to be me, as God created me to be. Yet, what I did not tell you was what also happened at that moment inside of me before I jumped in to the belief that I am creative, that I will mentor creatives, and that I will move forward in this promise. Let me back track a bit.

creative-sparkThe words leapt off the page and into my being, confirming all that God placed in my heart. It all happened in a moment and I felt as if I would soar in that reality. I knew it was right, something I dearly believed in and wanted with all of my heart. BUT, at that same moment, something else also rose up. Accusations that I was a fraud, a fake, a hypocrite and I would be found out, exposed for all to see. What is that?

I faced two realities, or at least I thought they were both true. One said to jump into the belief that I can be and do all that is in my heart. One said to retreat back a bit because believing that would only reveal the fact that I was a fraud, not all that, somehow lacking. Have you noticed how often that can happen to you? Right at the moment of inner breakthrough, we are often confronted by our own feelings of being an impostor?

I sat in my office, at my desk, realizing I had been at this place before. What did I do? I was so frustrated. I didn’t want to be at this place anymore. I closed the book and did the only thing I knew to do. I worshipped God, pouring out my heart to Him for a long time. I was searching, scanning my internal life, wanting answers that would hit this problem right at its core.

The inability to believe in my own creativity was right there in that moment. I absolutely hated the feeling that rose inside of me. It was as if I was sabotaging my very existence. I knew that if I continued to own a false narrative, I would never move ahead. At the same time, I did not want to just verbally spew out shallow words that meant nothing. God was going deep and I was the one leading the charge.

Why do I not believe whom you, Lord, say that I am?

Why do I feel like a fraud inside, unable to truly measure up?

Why is my greatest fear the fact that people will actually find out that I am not really who I believe or say that I am?

This is crazy but oh, so very very real.

Who do I think I am?

What am I doing?

to_be_or_not_to_be_by_sharp_negative-d3f1qr5This went on for the good part of an hour. Then I had to make a decision. Against all odds, I had to jump because there was no other option for me. Risk it all. Be brave. Be courageous. Be me. Reading The Artisan Soul, I jumped into believing who I am in Christ. I realized that for years, for so many years, the words out of my mouth were real and true but deep inside, I could not grasp or hold onto the revelation that He who called me is faithful and He would take my life, despite what anyone thought or said and form me into His image, His flow of creativity through my being. He does choose the foolish things of the world.

Isn’t it obvious that God deliberately chose men and women that the culture overlooks and exploits and abuses, 28 chose these “nobodies” to expose the hollow pretensions of the “somebodies”? 29 That makes it quite clear that none of you can get by with blowing your own horn before God. 30 Everything that we have––right thinking and right living, a clean slate and a fresh start––comes from God by way of Jesus Christ. 31 That’s why we have the saying, “If you’re going to blow a horn, blow a trumpet for God (1 Corinthians 1:27-31 Message)

Why do so many of us believe ourselves to be a fraud? Many are constantly trying to cover up an inner deficit, externally seeming to have it all together while internally living in defeat. It holds us back. It’s too much work. I don’t have a handle on it all but I do know one thing. There are constant accusations coming our way as creative people wanting us to believe we are actually frauds, waiting to be exposed as an impostor. Why is that?

Yes there are fears of failure, traumatic childhoods, and more but it’s deeper than all that. These fears attack our very essence and being, who we are created in Christ. These insidious attacks keep coming and coming and coming. Again, I want to say that people handle it by just avoiding looking deep inside to see what the root of the matter really is. I always believe there is more to life than meets the eye and to solve things, we have to get at the heart of where this is all really coming from.

Well, didn’t I tell you that I would not come to conclusions at the end of a blog post? I meant it. I will think about this and pray about it today. I may be breaking all the blog rules by doing this but I decided that this year, 2015, these blog posts would concentrate on JOURNEY, ADVENTURE, and PROCESS. Will write more very soon.

DebraIn Christ,
Debra

I would love to speak at your conference, gathering, church or home group. Contact me here, on Facebook or on Twitter. Enjoy reading about Rivers of Eden and the Timeline of our Life!

Creativity flows from BEING Me, in Christ!

Creative

Creativity flows from BEING ME.. in Christ!

In Christ, I live.

With Brave Wings, She Flies

In Christ, I move.

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In Christ, I have my being.

I create from my BEING, who I am, even if I don’t yet see the finished product of “Me”. I don’t wait until I arrive at some self-designated point of perfection. I create in the messiness of my life.  I create in the midst of process – my life – changing, growing, as He lives His life through me.

Creativity flows from imperfection. That’s life. I rise above the rubble of my insecurities, doubts, guilt or shame to enjoy the journey each and every day. The alternative to this is just existing, not living. Authenticity takes courage and risk, coming out from behind the mask, in process, not perfect and owning it all as being me – good, bad and otherwise.

The beauty of my humanness shines through as Christ lives His life through this imperfect vessel. In going from glory to glory, I relish the process of being where I am right now, at this moment. It is in this moment, creativity flows in many ways, first and foremost in a creative life, surrendered to Holy Spirit and the spontaneity of adventure.

I am in process, on a journey, a journey in Christ, with Christ – a life not static but dynamic. Day by day, always an adventure into the glory of the revelation of His life flowing through me. Christianity is exceedingly creative, if you just let Him BE in and through you, the way He wants to live His life in you.

When did Christianity ever get so boring for so many? I will unravel the lies that have tried to pull me down into conformity and fear for so long now. I will arise into the freedom that is mine in Christ, and help others to see their creative life in Christ. So here it is January 1, 2015. Happy New Year! The journey begins………

I care not for perfection. I love process and putting myself out there, authentic and real. That is what I can give to a generation younger than me-> a mom, grandma, lover of Jesus, creative, explorer, adventurer, filled with wisdom and failure, able to reach out and not be afraid to make mistakes, wanting to laugh at myself through it all, and hoping that my destiny is intertwined with those younger than myself so that I can give a bit of myself in the process. Creativity in Christ will awaken a generation of Christians who want no part of religion yet are so in love with Jesus that they want to journey in Him and with Him wherever He leads. Until next time.

DebraIn Christ, 
Debra