My Words – Who I Am Will Always Come Out One Way Or Another

Out of the overflow or abundance of my heart, my mouth speaks. (Luke 6:45)

At some point, what goes in will come out.

When God began to deal with and heal anger in my life, He gave me free reign to say what I wanted anytime I wanted to. Since I didn’t respect those small inner promptings of Holy Spirit to watch my tongue, God basically said, “Go for it.” Then He stood back and watched as I spoke with passion (that’s what I called it). God called it anger, frustration, pain and control.

shhThere were more times than I care to remember when people close to me felt the sting of my words. Looking back, I saw it in their eyes as my verbal assault hit their hearts. I saw them reel back in hurt. My words formed a battlefield of provocation and destruction, warlike in their nature. Fighting the good fight of “No compromise” or being a “Defender of Truth”, I was a master at wounding others rather than face my own pain. I was in a war.

What war?

The war going on in my own soul – the constant battle trying to hold on to my broken life through the only weapon I had – my words.

Who was I at war with?

Myself. The overflow of my own pain formed its strategy; speaking words that hurt instead of heal. Let me say this again. God gave me total freedom to say what I wanted to say. It seemed to be the only way He could capture my attention.

As I lost friends and dismantled ministry opportunities, my eyes soon opened to actually see what I was doing. Now what?

God knows what is written in my book of destiny in heaven, my scroll.
My frame was not hidden from You,
When I was made in secret,
And skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.
16 Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed.
And in Your book they all were written,
The days fashioned for me,
When as yet there were none of them
(Psalms 139:15-16 NKJVS)

There was a definite disconnect inside of me between who God made me to be and how I lived in my pain. Not knowing His love and His kindness toward me, I constantly lived in the tension of confusion and loneliness, always trying to prove myself with words that flowed in anger as a defense mechanism against facing myself. This tension became a breeding ground of guilt, shame and regret. Always regret at lost time, lost friendships and who knows what else?

But, God knows. He always knows.

He knows I am called to speak words of spirit, truth and life. Out of the overflow of my heart, my mouth speaks. There’s that disconnect again. I am called to bring out powerful words of healing and restoration, words that challenge and confront. Instead I did just the opposite on a daily basis. I say daily basis because in the process of healing I actually was sick of hearing my own self-talk.

How many times did I leave situations where I wanted to kick myself for being so outrageously pompous and uncaring?

But, God knows. He always knows.

And, He is in the business of healing. Because He loves us. And He wants us to flow in life in His purpose. There are people waiting to hear our words, waiting to be healed and waiting to hear the love of Christ. There are many needing to be challenged with words of hope. Others need confrontational love to redirect them out of their addictions and misplaced passions with a strong word from a strong heart.

So where does it all start? With me. With you. Out of the overflow of my heart, my mouth speaks. Healing to my heart produces healing in my words. Words that are anointed with passion, wisdom and grace.

Where is all this going today? I remember in a blog post long ago, I said that these blogs would not always end with a firm grasp on conclusion but would rather challenge and grow in process so that you could read and see how your life may parallel some of these thoughts.

I am daily mediating on sound, voice, frequency, wavelength…………..and this is just the start of this particular blog journey. More coming.

Debra And Chloe

In Christ,
Debra
About Me
Rivers of Eden Ministry

Transformation in the Prophetic – Greatly Needed

Prophecy is in great need of transformation. As the reality of Christ in us, the hope of glory, unfolds within our lives, we will prophecy with words of truth and life in the Spirit. These words will carry a weight of glory that will impact, change, reveal, and more. Right now, it seems that many just speak to speak. I am hearing the same standard phrases along with many clichés that I have heard for years now. Our language must shift but before that happens revelation of Christ in us must become central as the reality of our prophetic voice. This reality is clear: Christ in me, the hope of glory. It is all about Jesus.

The prophetic needs to mature in grace and glory. Some, at the risk of being out of the mix, continually seem to have a word or something to say. Others parrot and remix what they have heard that is out there, packaging it in a different format for their own ministry. Have we considered that to flow into a language upgrade, it may be best just to be still? Be still to know Him. Be still to allow Him time and space to reveal Himself to us in greater measure and with greater clarity.

Flowing through the tension of a prophetic upgrade requires that as we are still without presumption, as we gaze upon His face and spend time in His glory, we will come forth with words of great power and impact. The mystery of Christ in us will flow forth as we wait. Right now, we simply don’t have the appropriate language to know what God is doing. That is my personal opinion. Here is why I say this.

I have always been able to prophesy – over people, situations, nations, circumstances. One day, as I began to pray, I realized that I was bored with hearing my own voice. Over and over I was unmoved by the same old words of breakthrough, revival, anointing, mantles, fire……….I am unmoved by it all yet I cannot deny that I am prophetic. How do I change these words to resound in the revelation of grace and the finished work of the cross? What is that on the horizon that I am seeing, yet I am unable to sound forth its reality? It starts in me, not external to me. I speak what I know, what I see, what I experience. I speak forth Christ Jesus in me.

At this point, I subjected myself to some internal scrutiny. I realized that to change this sound flowing forth from me requires taking some time to be still to see again and hear again. That is where I am right now. I do not presume to know all God is saying but I do know that for me and for many of you out there right now, it is time to just process slowly the revelation that God is giving to us. We are seeing at a distance. When seeing something at a distance, we cannot prophecy as if it is already clear right before us. That is presumptuous and lacks wisdom.

I am confounded and disturbed by words that I read that indicate we need the fire of Elijah, the mantle of Elisha, the anointing of Deborah or Shiloh, or any number of external sources that we have picked up from the Old Testament. Do we not see or truly know that Christ is in us? Do we not realize that most of our prophetic language reflects an external focus rather than the revelation of our union in Christ? I am praying. I am worshiping. From those times I wait and then I write. This is one of those times. I am not downplaying the need for the prophetic. It is a vital area of ministry. Yet, it is in need of change and internal transformation in the lives of prophets and prophetic ministries. I am but one voice but in my own small way, I am slowly moving into a language of grace and glory.

In Christ
Debra Westbrook

Debra NapaRivers of Eden Ministry is called to challenge people to live a prophetic life of creativity, revelation and intimacy in Christ. Marvin and I look forward to hearing from you, allowing us the opportunity to minister in the grace and love of Christ in your gathering, church, home group or conference.  Currently we are planning a trip to Kenya in August in which we are looking forward to establishing new relationships with leaders for a Kingdom purpose. Contact us on Facebook or Twitter for more information if you would like us to minister in grace and glory.

Creative Expression – Formed By Shame, Freedom In Christ

To walk in prophetic momentum in clarity of sound and a purity of heart, I need to be free from words of shame that formed my life. To speak words of truth, the source of life in me should be free from anything that is damming up the river from flowing outward. My identity in Christ is trying to flow forth from my inner substance, yet it is often blocked by my own sense of inner shame.

Shame imprisoned me behind a wall of insecurity and doubt, believing that somehow or someway, I was just not right. Guilt motivated my actions, proceeding from shame, trying to either people please OR just being downright angry with people for my perceived miserable life. Being up and down, like riding a roller coaster, my life was hardly one of resting in Christ. I sense that the prophetic in me flowed with clarity and function up till this time BUT to go further in this realm, death occurs in me so that resurrection life flows from me. That is a good thing that should not be avoided. Life is a journey. We advance going from faith to faith, glory to glory.

In times past, I often felt one of two ways. First, I would step out as bold as a lion in prophetic declarations and then second guess myself and wallow in fear and insecurity. Or, I would step out for the Lord, saying what I feel needed to be said, and because I was rejected or ignored, I would get angry. Both are only the overflow of inner wounding that desperately needed to be healed. The problem was in me and needed healing. God is determined to take prophetic people higher, if I can say it like that. To do that, He must aim for getting the cracks out of a faulty foundation of belief. With me, it was so simple. God was getting to that part in me that said I was wrong, not my actions but me. I was wrong, made wrong, formed wrong, just plain wrong. That is shame in its perfection.

When, as a woman, I tried to step out, knowing I heard from the Lord, shame often slammed me down, helping me to feel unworthy, unnoticed, or ignored. Often people’s words of condescension ripped apart my foundation, making me feel less than and far beneath them.

On the other side again, I have ‘pushed and ‘proved’ quite often in my life, despite these feelings inside, trying to qualify and justify just being me or speaking what I believe is from the Lord. Shame can keep you silenced or angry if you allow it to permeate your life, which I did at times.

Shame is the attack on your substance, who you are. No one can touch that place. That place is the inner sanctum where your spirit is alive in Christ. But, if you don’t see that place as the ultimate place of identity, you can be motivated by shame that either silences you or angers you. Am I laying this down understandably?

Shame entered my life through hard-hitting words, causing pain or anger. Shame also came through blatant rejection. In my head, I knew God loved me lavishly and passionately but the road from the head to the heart is often filled with pain as God heals those wounds that form our life. And, this is a journey in life as He heals and restores us day by day.

God spoke these words to me about one month ago.

“Debra, February will be a turning point for you.”

By the Spirit I can sense that what I am going through is leading me into ‘me’. The ‘me’ that He created, not the one formed in shame or guilt. Debra. It’s a journey and I am getting ready to go through a door into a new broad place.

The purity of the prophetic is moving in the testimony of Jesus. This is the spirit of prophecy. He wants a heart that is focused, willing, obedient and humble. The prophetic voice, flowing forth from me or you, should flow with intensity in the reality of His love as its source. Yet, His love, as I have said before, comes forth in many ways. It’s all in relationship.

To be continued……

In Christ, Debra

Please pray and consider having Rivers of Eden minister in your gathering, home group, conference or church in 2014. This is our year of release wherever and whenever God opens His doors bringing His grace and His glory through us to those to whom we are called in this season. Feel Free to contact us on Facebook, Twitter, or on our Contact Page on our website.

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