A Whirlwind Obstructing Truth

Sometimes I feel there is a whirlwind in front of me. It blocks my vision of the truth of who I am in Christ, a new creation. Being a visual learner and seeing things in pictures, I sketch things out as I am thinking. So here’s my sketch to show you how I began to pray through this obstacle of feeling like a fraud at times.

New Creation in Christ This is ME facing a whirlwind of accusations. On the other side of the whirlwind, there is truth in Christ. In reality, that truth is already inside of me in Christ. It is my existing reality but it is undergoing an attack, a pervading attack trying to undermine some things. It’s easy to see in this picture what is happening here. There is a continual attack, trying to erode my identity in Christ. It tries to redefine me. It is confusing and pervasive but it is only an illusion because in Christ, I am a new creation. I AM a NEW CREATION.

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new. (2 Corinthians 5:17 NKJV)

 In this verse, “new” means ‘new in quality’ not in “form”. This Debra that I am, being in Christ, is a new person. I am physically the same but something is entirely different. I am new in time because of Christ. This is not just because of what I believe but because I am in Christ. He defines my life. He is my life. That is something I must grasp to fight off these accusations of being an impostor or a fraud.

These accusations seek to redefine me and challenge the outline of my existence in Him. They can’t really do this but they try continually. There is a battle we face with evil heavenly forces that lie to try to pull us out of sync with our identity. They try, but they actually can’t because no matter how real they feel they are only an illusion. The truth, the simple reality is that in my glorious salvation, I AM a new creation in Christ.

Here’s another picture that I sketched out as I was thinking.

To DefineHere is how accusations try to re-define you:

  • To fix or mark the limits of life.
  • To determine of identity the essential quality or meaning of my life.
  • To show the shape, outline or edge of something.

This evil resistance tries to form me into its image because it hates the fact that I am in Christ, a daughter of the King. It wants to try to keep me from actually walking in that reality for that reality transforms my life as I go from glory to glory to glory in Christ.

Christ defines me. My life is hidden in Him. He is my life. He lives His life through me.

Here is what Jesus says to me in response to the points above:

  • As the enemy seeks to restrict and confine you, or to mark his set limits of failure, I expand you in my life, which has no limits. I have a great plan and a great future for you in Me. In Me, eternity has no borders and righteousness, peace, and joy are your reality.
  • The essence of your life is hidden in Me. I determine your path for I am the way and my ways are perfectly formed for you for I knew you before you were born. I know your moments, your life’s qualities, your point in time. I know you right NOW.
  • You are my masterpiece, perfectly formed in Me in the midst of all your imperfections. I am working on you as a Master Artist forms His prized possession. Follow me in life for in living and moving and having your being in ME, I continually shape and form you in time in the reality of being a new creation in Me. You are beautifully created and wonderfully formed in Me. You bring heaven to earth in the Holy Spirit always stretching the horizons of your life with revelation.

I am a new creation. The lies of my being an impostor, keeping me tethered to any failure are simply that – lies. I learn from my mistakes but I go on, not willing to be tied to the past for the past is gone. The future looks glorious as I look at my new identity and walk in it day by day as Christ leads the way. So when I encounter times of accusation, I walk through the whirlwind for I know what is on the other side.

DebraIn Christ,
Debra

I would love to speak at your conference, gathering, church or home group. Contact me here, on Facebook or on Twitter. Enjoy reading about Rivers of Eden and the Timeline of our Life!

To Be Or Not To Be – Why Do I Sometimes Feel Like A Fraud?

When I encounter a moment in time where everything in me is in sync with that moment, I face a choice – enter the moment by jumping wholeheartedly into it OR retreat, stepping back into fear. I could be reading a book, watching a movie, or talking to a friend when I feel that I what I am doing at that moment is linked with my very destiny inside. Everything seems to resonate within me that I am encountering life, true abundant life.

While reading The Artisan Soul, I reached a point where I felt the words leap off the page. It was as if these were my words, my passion to be creative and to encourage those who are. I saw possibility, destiny, and adventure to be me, as God created me to be. Yet, what I did not tell you was what also happened at that moment inside of me before I jumped in to the belief that I am creative, that I will mentor creatives, and that I will move forward in this promise. Let me back track a bit.

creative-sparkThe words leapt off the page and into my being, confirming all that God placed in my heart. It all happened in a moment and I felt as if I would soar in that reality. I knew it was right, something I dearly believed in and wanted with all of my heart. BUT, at that same moment, something else also rose up. Accusations that I was a fraud, a fake, a hypocrite and I would be found out, exposed for all to see. What is that?

I faced two realities, or at least I thought they were both true. One said to jump into the belief that I can be and do all that is in my heart. One said to retreat back a bit because believing that would only reveal the fact that I was a fraud, not all that, somehow lacking. Have you noticed how often that can happen to you? Right at the moment of inner breakthrough, we are often confronted by our own feelings of being an impostor?

I sat in my office, at my desk, realizing I had been at this place before. What did I do? I was so frustrated. I didn’t want to be at this place anymore. I closed the book and did the only thing I knew to do. I worshipped God, pouring out my heart to Him for a long time. I was searching, scanning my internal life, wanting answers that would hit this problem right at its core.

The inability to believe in my own creativity was right there in that moment. I absolutely hated the feeling that rose inside of me. It was as if I was sabotaging my very existence. I knew that if I continued to own a false narrative, I would never move ahead. At the same time, I did not want to just verbally spew out shallow words that meant nothing. God was going deep and I was the one leading the charge.

Why do I not believe whom you, Lord, say that I am?

Why do I feel like a fraud inside, unable to truly measure up?

Why is my greatest fear the fact that people will actually find out that I am not really who I believe or say that I am?

This is crazy but oh, so very very real.

Who do I think I am?

What am I doing?

to_be_or_not_to_be_by_sharp_negative-d3f1qr5This went on for the good part of an hour. Then I had to make a decision. Against all odds, I had to jump because there was no other option for me. Risk it all. Be brave. Be courageous. Be me. Reading The Artisan Soul, I jumped into believing who I am in Christ. I realized that for years, for so many years, the words out of my mouth were real and true but deep inside, I could not grasp or hold onto the revelation that He who called me is faithful and He would take my life, despite what anyone thought or said and form me into His image, His flow of creativity through my being. He does choose the foolish things of the world.

Isn’t it obvious that God deliberately chose men and women that the culture overlooks and exploits and abuses, 28 chose these “nobodies” to expose the hollow pretensions of the “somebodies”? 29 That makes it quite clear that none of you can get by with blowing your own horn before God. 30 Everything that we have––right thinking and right living, a clean slate and a fresh start––comes from God by way of Jesus Christ. 31 That’s why we have the saying, “If you’re going to blow a horn, blow a trumpet for God (1 Corinthians 1:27-31 Message)

Why do so many of us believe ourselves to be a fraud? Many are constantly trying to cover up an inner deficit, externally seeming to have it all together while internally living in defeat. It holds us back. It’s too much work. I don’t have a handle on it all but I do know one thing. There are constant accusations coming our way as creative people wanting us to believe we are actually frauds, waiting to be exposed as an impostor. Why is that?

Yes there are fears of failure, traumatic childhoods, and more but it’s deeper than all that. These fears attack our very essence and being, who we are created in Christ. These insidious attacks keep coming and coming and coming. Again, I want to say that people handle it by just avoiding looking deep inside to see what the root of the matter really is. I always believe there is more to life than meets the eye and to solve things, we have to get at the heart of where this is all really coming from.

Well, didn’t I tell you that I would not come to conclusions at the end of a blog post? I meant it. I will think about this and pray about it today. I may be breaking all the blog rules by doing this but I decided that this year, 2015, these blog posts would concentrate on JOURNEY, ADVENTURE, and PROCESS. Will write more very soon.

DebraIn Christ,
Debra

I would love to speak at your conference, gathering, church or home group. Contact me here, on Facebook or on Twitter. Enjoy reading about Rivers of Eden and the Timeline of our Life!

Strength To Birth

Blue GlobeTurning – this blog is turning. This week I’ll impart a sense of turning as I write. I believe many reading this are walking the same path as Marvin and I. Will you follow me on this journey of life?

I’m looking at the horizon – a sense of purpose stretches out before me. My path is ordered in Christ in Holy Spirit. How to start? God always seems to put audio messages, You Tube videos, books and other things into my life when I need to hear something specific. When I listen, the message grabs me as if it is spoken to me alone. Life flows into my spirit as I listen to the words being spoken, images shown or music flowing. They reach deep into my being with a life all their own. Jesus says it this way.

John 6:63
It is the Spirit who gives life; the flesh profits nothing. The words that I speak to you are spirit, and they are life.

He speaks and His words are life – to us. And……He speak through many different venues, in diverse and creative ways……..to each of us.

Instinct, a book by TD Jakes is life to me in this season. I listened to this online message over and over and over.

The message of my life is intertwined with the ministry that God is birthing within me, Rivers of Eden. (More on that in the coming week.) I am a walking message, filled with His life and glory, the creative expression of Christ. This is how He creates His life through me, and also through each of you. I listened to TD Jakes as He said:

“You are called to BE the highest and best expression of who you are created to be (in Christ).”

That has been my spiritual mandate for years. Yet, while deep inside I knew it, I did not adequately believe it. So, for years we have ministered in lack – lack of finances, lack of ministry, and a deep down lack of belief tha this ministry is in Jesus Christ. I see that now.

Another great quote from Jakes:

“People have attached to you their own need and you have morphed yourself to respond to these needs and circumstances. It now takes times to find out who you are again. Who are you apart from the applause, the approvals or the indictments (and rejections)? In the second half of your life, do YOU.”

Then here it came……….”You need the strength to birth again.”

Those words shot through me like a sword, dividing lies from truth to conquer my heart – all the lies I believed, all the wasted time, all the control, the dead ends….I am tired.

Too tired to birth, yet carrying a spiritual baby within my being. I need strength to birth again.

What if I flyWhat keeps me from bearing down and giving birth? I believe I finally get it. The pain of the past, the experiences, all the crap enhanced with lies from the enemy, pummel my life on a daily basis. “You are a fraud and once they see who you really are, you are nothing.” That tormented my soul for years, somehow believing that despite what God placed in me, due to years of mistakes, I am now disqualified.

In feeling disqualified, I did not actually believe or expose the greatness, creativity and anointing of my Lord through my life. I shut down and then wondered why I was invisible or forgotten. The bottom line, when realized, is simple to understand.

If I don’t expose what I have inside of me, what I am called to do for Christ in this life, then how will anyone know, truly know me and Rivers of Eden?

“How can you expect people to empower what  you will not expose? In order to expose what you have inside of you, you’ve got to believe what He put down deep inside of you.”

First and foremost, the revelation of Christ in me, the hope of glory, is growing within my being. Flowing out, it flows in a ministry named Rivers of Eden, the ministry God will birth through myself and Marvin and a team that joins up with us as we go to the nations in this new season. I can say that in faith now, realizing that when God begins a good work in you, He will complete it.

This is the exact season for me. Thinking that I was invisible and forgotten, I denied the very God who loves me and calls me, fulfills His dream in and through my life. I see. My eyes are open and I see.

Life is calling me out…….I don’t have the full picture but the horizon is in view and I am walking…………I feel strength within me to birth. There is so much more coming forth. Enjoy!

10511315_794327653940721_886065626280149819_nIn Christ,
Debra Westbrook